Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The One Where I Talk For Awhile

I've mentioned before that winter is hard for me. The lack of sunlight, warmth and general cheeriness is hard on my body. I can still function and be a pretty normal human being (normal being a vague term here), but I lose joy.

I miss joy.

The past couple of days have been harder and I'm not sure why. Tears hang out in the corners of my eyes, just waiting for the slightest provocation to fall. They have given me no reason about why they showed up unexpectedly, but they sure are making themselves at home. My tone gets terser and my patience is stretched thin. I am walking along the wood on the edge of the sandbox, arms outstretched, trying to stay balanced, but the slightest bit of wind can take me either way.

I get asked a lot if I am "ok" and I have no answer. Yes, of course I am ok. But I'm not. Because I'm not quite me.

I miss me.

But soon enough I will come back, bringing my joy with me. And those days will be happy. And these will be but a distant memory.

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