tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1688978795050803262024-02-06T19:03:05.700-08:00rachieannie writesabout liferachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.comBlogger163125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-43972912908266404512014-11-11T10:07:00.002-08:002014-11-11T10:07:58.777-08:00Life :: An UpdateWell, it has happened. The end has come. No more halycon summer days. Winter has reared her head, beautiful though it may be, and eaten away the last of the warmth.<br />
<br />
Oh well.<br />
<br />
I guess the snow is pretty.<br />
<br />
(ahem. obviously we have hit the time of year that I do no particularly claim as my favorite)<br />
<br />
Anyways.<br />
<br />
So, here I sit with my second cup of coffee (why is it so much harder to get the ratio of coffee to cream right with the second cup?), listening to Rat Pack radio on Pandora. Grateful for today, as it is much better than yesterday, when I was taken down with an awful stomach bug (and no, that is not a coy way of mentioning morning sickness. it was definitely a bug!).<br />
<br />
Anyways, I thought I should commemorate this first snow of the season with a brief update on what is happening in this happy* little household in the middle of the South Dakota prairie.<br />
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*happy = giggly, whiny, temper-tantrumy, snuggly, etc etc etc<br />
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Drew:<br />
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-He is 3 and an ultimate threenager. Sassy, saucy, and mouthy. But sweet, funny, and smart!<br />
-Started Head Start this fall, which means we have an awesome teacher come to our house once a week to teach him one on one (which, really is two on one, because of course Will wants to learn too!), and then he gets to go play with the other kiddos twice a month. He LOVES it all.<br />
-Also started Sunday School, which is the highlight of his week next to preschool.<br />
-Has quite an imagination. He has started setting up all these different scenarios, and he converses with all sorts of people that only he can see. Sometimes it comes across a bit Gollum-ish as he takes different sides to the same debate, but it's cute!<br />
-Is very helpful, often running to get stuff for sister for me.<br />
-Loves all things farming, including moving bales with the tractor (in real life and in pretend play) and cows (milking them with daddy and grandpa, etc), and talking about Grandma B's horses and donkeys. Also, watching movies.<br />
-Is still small, but has managed to stay on the charts for the past year or so, so we are down to just every 6 month check-ups. Still super picky, and mostly lives on chocolate milk and peanut butter and meat.<br />
-Is mostly potty trained!<br />
-Has entered the questioning/'why' stage of life, much to the chagrin of his parents. One of his favorite questions to ask lately is 'are you SURE you want to keep that baby?' in reference to his baby sister (the answer is yes, yes I am sure buddy).<br />
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Will:<br />
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-He is 2 and showing it in every way! Independence-seeking, vocab increasing, wanting his own way getting.<br />
-Slightly quirky, and I love it! Often is found with socks on his hands, or boots over his footie pajamas, or wearing a helmet in the car.<br />
-Gets his way a bit too often with a flash of his big blue eyes and his heart-melting smile.<br />
-Loves loves loves tractors, cows, Curious George, daddy, and grandpa.<br />
-Mostly easy-going and will often go along with what Drew tells him to do. But has plenty of stubbornness and will dig in his heels when he wants to.<br />
-Lives in his own little world of being a tractor, often picking up 'bales' (wooden blocks) and moving them around the house using his hands as the gear shift and the bucket.<br />
-Has such a fun way of speaking ('tupper time!' for supper time, 'by turn' for my turn, 'bove you' for love you, 'haymers' for Sammers, our cat)<br />
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Lucy:<br />
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-She is 6 months old, no matter how much we try to deny it.<br />
-Is ready to start eating real food, if the way she watches us like a hawk while we eat is any indication.<br />
-Rolls all over the living room, playing with whatever toy meets her fancy.<br />
-Is still a bit shaky on the whole sitting thing, but she's getting it!<br />
-Is a pretty chill baby, unless she's tired. But she will just play and play and watch her brothers for hours. It's lovely.<br />
-Loves her brothers and find them endlessly amusing, especially when they are throwing fits because then they're dynamic.<br />
-Is our most talky baby, often cooing and growling. Will definitely put her brothers in their place if they need it!<br />
-Still a mama's girl, but she loves her daddy and lights up when he comes in the room.<br />
-Won't take a bottle, so she gets to spend most of her time with mommy.<br />
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-Luke is busy busy busy with his full time job, raising pheasants for a local preserve, and working for a neighbor.<br />
-I am busy with managing my childrens' schedules. I also am a member of the Policy Council for Head Start, which involves several meetings a month.<br />
-We also are blessed with family, friends and a community that gets us out and about on a regular basis. We are not ones to thrive on busyness, but it seems to find us anyways.<br />
-We have also become those people that marvel at how fast time is passing, and how fast our children are growing.<br />
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Well, that is us in a nutshell. Still here, still thriving.rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-44964993883757706402014-10-24T10:33:00.000-07:002014-10-24T10:39:24.984-07:00on this Friday::<br />
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<b>I am ...</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">believing random pictures of my kiddos are an integral part of this random blog post</span></div>
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believing in extra snuggles, extra kisses, extra apologies.<br />
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believing in this life we have built together, the two of us side by side, BFFEAE, no matter what.<br />
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believing that my children are the most beautiful, smartest, sweetest, rascal-ist children in the whole wide world (but I am more than a little biased, so take that with a grain of salt).<br />
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believing that I can push myself forward, even if day by day it doesn't feel like it.<br />
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believing that movie nights are not complete without popcorn and hot tamales.<br />
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believing that sunshine cures many ills. as does sleep. and food. because there is nothing worse than being hangry!<br />
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Currently:</span></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">administering</em> kisses to a little boy's head who is sitting on my lap while I type this (to which he says 'thank you but your face is yucky')</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">elbow-deep</em> cleaning up this house of ours so we can start this weekend on a happy note</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">speed-reading</em> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Reached-Matched-Ally-Condie-ebook/dp/B007FEFDFQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414170816&sr=8-1&keywords=reached+ally+condie">this book</a> so I can finish the trilogy without having to renew my library books AGAIN</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">vacillating </em><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">about whether or not to buy new clothes for family pictures</span></span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">borrowing </em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Through-Middle-Eastern-Eyes-ebook/dp/B001I461LY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414170896&sr=1-1&keywords=jesus+through+middle+eastern+eyes">this book</a> from my mom</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">missing</em> spending fall in MN</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">craving</em> pop. always pop.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">eating </em><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">whatever is the easiest and quickest thing to grab, even if that happens to be a fun-size Twix bar.</span></span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">thinking</em> about what craft projects I want to put time and effort into</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">loving</em> that my husband is the perfect husband for me</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">praying </em>for eyes to see the gifts He has given me</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">gearing up</em> for starting a new season of life that is going to involve going to board meetings and using my adult brain</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 14px; text-align: justify;">
<em style="box-sizing: border-box;">wishing </em>for contentment that settles into my bones</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">inspiration for this blog post from <a href="http://kapachino.info/2014/10/currently-25/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+kapachino%2FLgEY+%28Kapachino%29">Kathleen</a> and <a href="http://www.walkingwithnora.com/2014/10/24/im-a-believer/">Nora</a></span></div>
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rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-13120506922805237312014-09-20T13:59:00.000-07:002014-10-24T10:39:13.308-07:00becoming 30Some of you looong time readers (as in you've stuck around through my ignoring this place over the past year) might remember <a href="http://www.rachelanelson.blogspot.com/2013/08/expectations-and-wreck-they-havoc.html">some</a> <a href="http://www.rachelanelson.blogspot.com/2013/08/epiphany.html">posts</a> I wrote about my birthday.<br />
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Well, this year I turned 30. And a girl has to celebrate! So, many months ago, while I was hugely pregnant with our latest progeny, I proclaimed to Luke that for my birthday I wanted to climb a mountain. To be specific, a 14er in CO. Partly because I liked the sound of it, and partly because my brother lives in Denver and has been to known to climb a mountain or two (two to be exact. this was his third).<br />
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So, after having a baby, and spending the summer not getting in shape, and arranging childcare, and time-off, and coordinating schedules, Luke, Lucy and I took off late one Wednesday and drove into the setting sun.<br />
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Literally, as we were headed west.<br />
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We drove until late late that night and arrived in Silverthorne, CO at about 3:00 in the AM. After spending the next day resting and adjusting to the altitude, we were (mostly) ready.<br />
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The next morning the alarms started going off at 5:00 and we stumbled out of bed, quietly getting dressed. We ate a hearty pre-climbing breakfast at that bastion of healthy food and golden arches, and drove to the mountains.<br />
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<span id="goog_985446782"></span><span id="goog_985446783"></span>We left the parking lot around 6:30 or so, after making sure we were bringing the right gear and last-minute bathroom breaks.<br />
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It was 4 miles up, and the first 2 1/2 - 3 aren't too bad. A little incline here and there, but also some straight stretches. Lucy was a trooper, just hanging out in the Ergo, nursing every once in awhile and napping the rest of the time.<br />
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(yes, those are socks on her hands. this mama forgot to pack her mittens! whoops)</div>
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Of course, in order to really climb a mountain, you have to climb. At a high altitude (it's not called a 14er for nothing!). Let's just say we slowed our momentum down after awhile. And there might have been lots of rest breaks.</div>
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But, we kept going!</div>
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Luke had to take Lucy from me about 2/3 the way up because I was getting dizzy from the high altitude and didn't want to fall and hurt her. I took the backpack from him, but soon enough he took it back from me because it was making me take even more breaks. Basically, he was a rockstar. </div>
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It was not very pleasant on top of the mountain due to cold and wind, so we did not linger long. Lucy especially was not a fan.<br />
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A nice lady from Seattle and I took turns holding a coat shield for one another so we could *ahem* tend to business, then we set off down the mountain.<br />
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While going down has its challenges (feels like you are going to fall straight down), it was much nicer than going up as you are getting more and more oxygen!<br />
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The hardest mental challenge for me was the last 2 miles, because you just wanted to be done!! But we trucked on because I did not want to become a mountain dweller.<br />
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We collapsed back in the van at around 2:00 and celebrated that we had done it! </div>
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After a little rest, we headed down the mountain and went to my brother's house in Parker, where we spent the next couple of days doing fun things due to the fact that it was my birthday weekend.</div>
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We also got to watch my nephew's first football game of the season:</div>
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Let's compare to the last football game of his we got to watch shall we?<br />
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What a difference 5 years make no?<br />
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(exactly 5 years, as we had gone to Denver to celebrate my 25th birthday soon after we started dating)</div>
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We hung out with my lovely family until Sunday, when we packed up and headed back to our other kiddos. It was a long trip back as we took some wrong turns and Lucy was extremely over the whole concept of a roadtrip, but we made it. And we ended the night with all of us snuggled up in our beds where we belonged.<br />
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<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-652071622060677682014-09-08T07:58:00.001-07:002014-09-08T08:02:55.529-07:00Lucy Jo :: What's In A NameWith our boys, we really struggled to name them. Especially with Drew. We dragged that process out as long as we possibly could!<br />
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But, obviously, we prevailed and named our children. And we remain happy with what we named them.<br />
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Drew Solon, meaning bold and courageous wise one.<br />
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Will Bennett, meaning blessed strong protector.<br />
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Not only do their names have great meaning, but they are also named after great men, our dads. Luke's dad's middle name is Andrew and my dad's name is Willard.<br />
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While I didn't set out on this naming journey with the idea that I would name my children after our families, I love that we ended up doing that. Since both grandpas were covered, that just left the grandmas. And so we played around with their names, and quickly came up with a combination of their middle names that we loved: Lucy Jo.<br />
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(Luke's mom's middle name is Lucille and my mom's middle name is Jo)<br />
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So, we knew even before we were pregnant that we would most likely name our first little girl Lucy Jo. Then, at our 20 week ultrasound when we found out that it was indeed a girl, that just solidified our choice. However, as a commitment-phobe, I did not fully fully commit to naming her that until she was born. But, when she came out and they asked if we had a name, it felt right. And the longer she is part of our family, the more Lucy she becomes.<br />
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Lucy Jo, meaning beloved light.<br />
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(and in a weird coincidence, I love that all 3 kids have names that are 4 letters and short for another name. and that the last letter of drew is the beginning of will and the last letter of will is the beginning of lucy. having a harder time coming up with a name that starts with y, so we might have to break that cycle, but still fun in my nerdy brain!)rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-19963304376366760472014-08-10T16:51:00.000-07:002014-10-14T09:46:29.981-07:00Lucy Jo :: A Birth StoryWell, well, now that the shock of the news of another adorable Vander Ley inhabiting the world is over, come read all about how she came to be! It's another good one!<br />
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Wonderings at her existence started in my thoughts last August. I was experiencing some heightened emotions and general unwell feelings, and thought that perhaps God said that it was time for another one. I started taking pregnancy tests like crazy, but they all came up negative.<br />
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Finally, after a whirlwind weekend of family and the baptism of our two boys, I took one more test on a Monday morning in September. And there it was, clear as could be:<br />
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Luke and I shared a quick 'awe/ahhh!' before he went off to work and I went back to sleep.</div>
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(what? it was way early in the morning and I was knocked up - I needed all the sleep I could get!)</div>
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The pregnancy took off in the normal way and I soon began puking and laying around all day due to nausea. It was a fun little treat that instead of my typical 12 weeks of sickness, I got a full 16 weeks of puking glory. </div>
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Of course I still had 2 little munchkins running/crawling around, so it wasn't like I was on my bum 24/7. More like 22/7. </div>
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We told our families much earlier with this one, because, let's face it, there is only so much hiding of the puking I could do. They were all lovely and very excited. </div>
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Soon enough, Christmas rolled around, as did my 20 week point. </div>
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We were heading to MN for the last weekend in December, so we nabbed an ultrasound appt that Friday. After all the measuring, she asked if we wanted to know. </div>
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Of course!</div>
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And, there it was, a girl. So exciting! Especially since we actually had a name picked out, which if you've been following any of our birth stories, you know is SO rare. </div>
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It was a fun thing to share with our families and friends for the holidays. </div>
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Time went on, and I got bigger and bigger. I had a questionable glucose test, and I was gaining weight rather rapidly. And the day I took the test, I had a suuuper high blood pressure, which was no bueno because the reason Drew came when he did was because pre-eclampsia. So, that won me some closer monitoring. </div>
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And then week 32 came. And the contractions started. And they were every 10-15 minutes. And they weren't going away. And they didn't go away for the rest of the pregnancy. </div>
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I was put on some medicine to help the contractions go away, which helped for a couple of weeks. And then it didn't help anymore. I was spending more and more time on basically non-dr ordered bedrest, just to calm my body down. We REALLY didn't want to end up in Sioux Falls with a preemie, so Luke started picking up a lot of slack and I spent a lot of time on the couch.</div>
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And then one day I went to see the doctor, and after talking to me about a lot of different symptoms and checking me, he casually threw in at the end of the appointment that from then on I was on total bed rest. I could only get up to pee. </div>
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Ok then.</div>
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Not sure if you know this, but complete and total bed rest with 2 little kids at home? Not easy. We are super lucky in Luke's work schedule that he works 6-2, and we are late night people, so our kids sleep late in the morning, so I was really only on my own for a couple of hours, but its impossible to be fully down with a 2 year old and a 1 year old. </div>
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After a couple weeks of that, and lots more doctors appointments, he reiterated how important it was that I stay down, so my MIL and SIL started taking turns coming to help me out in the morning. Family is such a wonderful thing!</div>
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It seemed that every time I went to the doctor, he would give me a plausible day we would do the c-section. So, I would plan on that. But, then things would interfere. For example, one time we were there talking about doing the c-section that weekend (which worked perfectly in our schedule because of family things), but then he talked to perinatologist, and he said don't do it. So, we waited, and waited, and planned mentally for one day, and then another. </div>
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Finally, we went in on a Monday morning. Luke had stayed home from work so he could go with, on the off chance that we were going to do it that day. And the doctor did one last check of my cervix, one last symptom check-off, and told me to be in the hospital at 5:30 the next morning because this was it. </div>
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So, we went home, did the last of the packing, sent the kiddos to his parents' for the night, and got ready to add another to our brood. Of course that night had to the night that our landlord broke a water line, and we were without water. It came back on briefly, but when I got up in the morning hoping for a shower, I was out of luck. Luckily we have the BEST hospital ever, so when we got there they let me hop in the shower before prepping me. </div>
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Getting prepped was AWFUL. I got poked and prodded and a catheter placed. I was literally arching off the bed in pain. It made me feel all shaky and terrible before the surgery even started. But, they finally got me ready and I thought the worst was over.</div>
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Ha. Ha ha, and triple ha.</div>
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The worst was yet to come.</div>
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Because you see, part of having a c-section is having a spinal block. Not the most fun part, but doable right? Yeah, 45 (that's FORTY-FIVE!!) minutes later, the 3rd (THIRD!!) doctor to try finally got my block placed. The nurse that was holding me had to switch out with someone else because it got too hard to hold me up. My other nurse kept going out to update Luke on what was going on and to compose herself, because it was so awful to watch. I was one more try away from having to go completely under for the surgery, which would have been a huge bummer!</div>
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Afterwards my back was full of poke holes from failed tries and I spent the first two days sitting on ice packs. But, no harm, no foul, and my back is totally fine now. </div>
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Our nurse took our camera and took pictures of the process so we could see what happens on the other side of the curtain. I was so excited!<br />
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The little miss had a lot to say from the get-go as she started squawking before they even got her fully out of my tummy. Grandma B insists that what she said was she wanted a pony, which I am sure is exactly what every newborn is thinking about!<br />
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She came out a little low on her sugars, so the doctor wanted her to have some sugar water. I was still really shaky, because I had spent most of the surgery throwing up, so daddy got to give her the bottle.<br />
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After a couple of hours of recovery, she got to meet a bunch of her new family including her brothers, grandparents, two aunts and a cousin. It was a busy day for the little miss!<br />
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Drew being thrilled</div>
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Auntie Amber</div>
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Will showing supreme enthusiasm</div>
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Telling Auntie Jourdan all about it!</div>
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family of 5!</div>
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snuggle time with daddy, which is just the best!</div>
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showing off her little peepers</div>
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mommy and Lucy selfies</div>
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ready to go home!</div>
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(I am still mildly obsessed with her coming home outfit)</div>
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ready to head home as a family of 5!!!</div>
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rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-1708723950520658352014-08-04T13:21:00.000-07:002014-08-04T13:21:44.944-07:00tap tap :: is this thing still on??hello all and sundry.<br />
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yes, yes, contrary to popular belief, I am still around. just ... not here.<br />
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you see, soon after my last post (ummm, a little under a year ago), I took on a momentous task, a task that consumed all of my fall, winter and spring.<br />
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would you like to see the result?<br />
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Miss Lucy Jo Vander Ley </div>
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May 6, 2014 7:36 AM</div>
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7lbs 15 oz 19 1/2 in</div>
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that's right. we're THOSE people. the ones who decide the 3 kids in under 3 years is a wise idea. </div>
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fun? a little crazy-making? full of diapers, cuddles, sneezes and tantrums? rewarding, frustrating, wonderful?</div>
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yes, yes, all of those things. </div>
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wise? well, we'll see.</div>
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our little girl is now almost 3 months old, full of smiles and giggles, especially for her daddy. Will is 1 1/2, walking, talking, leaving a trail of destruction behind him wherever he goes. Drew is 3, an older brother extraordinaire, who takes the concept of being 3 very seriously. </div>
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Luke and I are still here, perhaps a little more tired, but a lot more blessed. </div>
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I will be back soon with a birth story, and pictures of the boys, and just general updates. </div>
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<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-9523144130550099382013-08-30T05:15:00.000-07:002013-08-30T05:18:43.353-07:00EpiphanySo, after my last post, I did some thinking. And celebrated my birthday.<br />
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And, an epiphany has come to me.<br />
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I was putting so much pressure on this single day to be AH-MAZING, when in reality, there was no way I could make everything happen that I want to happen. It put so much pressure on me, so much pressure on Luke and those around me, and it left me in a puddle of tears at the end of the day from broken expectations (sometimes figuratively, but sometimes literally. poor poor Luke).<br />
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So, anyways, the epiphany. I was thinking about this last night on our way home from a very fun dinner with my in-laws. My birthday just happens to fall on the same day as my father-in-law's, so we celebrated together at Ruby Tuesdays, which was special and fun. But, it wasn't a huge gesture, and there were no fireworks. And I had spent the day wrangling 2 very precious, but very rambunctious boys (let's talk about the biting and toy throwing another day mmmkay?), so it really had been just another day.<br />
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But, what if I stopped putting my focus on just that one day? What if instead I made a list for the coming year, and simply saw that day as a beginning, a fun opening sentence on what is sure to be a great story? Instead of having all sorts of expectations for one day, I put together a list of expectations for that year. And, then, here's the kicker, I make them happen.<br />
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A dinner party outside with friends? Well, let's get on that. Buy some twinkle lights, make Luke build me a table, and blam. Go forward with that.<br />
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Get a tattoo? Well, I need to finalize a design and find a tattoo artist and make an appointment. And screw up my courage, but you know.<br />
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Volunteer somewhere. Learn some more about web design. Etc, etc, etc.<br />
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Instead of having a golden birthday, I have decided to have a golden year.<br />
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And really, I think that just sounds much more fun.<br />
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(oh, and for the record, Luke did come through. he always comes through. he got me some fun presents, let me order the steak I wanted at supper, and he picked me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers and wild grasses. what more does a girl need?)rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-39692595126926049312013-08-27T06:11:00.001-07:002013-08-27T06:12:06.575-07:00expectations and the wreck they havocIt's my birthday this week.<br />
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Not just my birthday, but my GOLDEN BIRTHDAY.<br />
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Yup, that's right. I turn 29 on the 29th.<br />
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I remember being a little girl, and hearing about golden birthdays for the first time. My brain really likes doubles like that, numerically speaking, so it became a big thing to me. Buuuuuut it was FOREVER away. Like years and years away.<br />
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And now it's not. It's only days away. And so I want it to be a big deal. I want it to be a big thing. It's a once in a lifetime thing. I'll have big decade birthdays, well, once a decade. But a golden birthday? I only get one shot.<br />
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It should be a day speckled with light, and love, and laughter, and that should Instagram perfectly (if I had Instagram), and I should be wearing an outfit that makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, and everything should fall into place, and it should be suffused with this wonderful glowy light so it looks just like all those pictures you see on Pinterest of perfect days and perfect moments.<br />
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Sigh.<br />
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Poor, poor Luke.<br />
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But that's not real life is it? My birthday is during the week, so my husband will have to go to work, meaning I'll be home with the kids. I'll still have to feed them, and me. I will have to wash the dishes, do the laundry, change diapers, and keep children alive, for pete's sake! (well, not really for Pete. but, since he is my brother, I'm sure he would like his nephews to keep on keeping on).<br />
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We don't have anything in our life that looks like the pictures. No table sitting under the trees lit with Christmas lights, and canning jar lanterns, surrounded by beautifully and perfectly done decorations. A meal that just happens to take place during that perfectly glowy part of the evening when everything is soft and magnificent.<br />
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We don't live anywhere close to a city that has the 'it' place to be for dinner, where we can get dressed up in our finest pearls and suits, and head out for a night of drinks and dinner. Then someone can take a picture of me laughing, slightly blurry because I am moving with joy over the fact that someone set a plate of food down in front of me (that's why they're always so joyous in those pictures isn't it?).<br />
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It's not winter so I can't be bombing down a mountain wearing the perfect combination of warm clothes that are cutely adorable while my cheeks glow and my hair magically becomes long, flowing, and curly.<br />
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My life isn't a photo op. And it's a hard thing to reconcile.<br />
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Expectations really aren't your friend are they?rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-74852357472115463172013-08-21T09:03:00.001-07:002013-08-21T09:03:34.660-07:00a random Wednesday in Augustwe have been taken down by the plague. it has been two weeks of coughs, cries, fevers, and runny noses. I succumbed a week ago, and it has been rough. last night I spent most of the night coughing, which means I don't sleep well, and neither does Luke.<br />
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it's not a great way to end a summer.<br />
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and as a result, I feel behind on everything. my house suffers, my eating habits suffer, working out is a joke, the bookwork I do for my brother is not done promptly or extremely thoroughly, and it's all I can to keep the boys alive, let alone keep them on a prompt schedule and diet.<br />
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and the worst thing? I don't get to interact with many people. my in-laws are stuck with us, so they get to share in our germs. but, I was raised that if you're contagious, you don't go anywhere unless you have to. not to church, not to hang out with people, etc. I had to cancel a playdate I had really been looking forward to two weeks ago, and I haven't been able to reschedule because she has a wee one I don't want exposed to this. and our good friends just had a brand new baby girl I can't wait to get my baby-craving mitts on, but I had to stay a good 5 feet away when we went to see her. I want to be able to bring them meals and help out, but I can't. and there's another little baby I need to get myself up to MN to see pronto, but can't, because, once again, plague.<br />
<br />
ugh.<br />
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so, we have been spending lots of time watching <i>Gilmore Girls</i> and <i>Curious George</i> (watch da monkey! is a common refrain heard from my 2 year old), drinking hot Chai, and just feeling cruddy.<br />
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I'm over it. time to get well, time to finally enjoy the last vestiges of this summer, weird weather and all.<br />
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speaking of weird weather, my toddler is all confused as to proper weather attire. last week it was quite chilly, which maaaaaybe explains his choice of wearing two winter hats on a 90 degree day?<br />
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the boots are an all weather accessory however. he can put them on himself, and mommy is all over that!rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-20063178873710735682013-08-14T12:50:00.000-07:002013-08-15T10:59:10.323-07:00Facebook No MoreAbout a month ago I made a decision I never thought I would make: I deactivated my Facebook.<br />
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Those of you who know me, know this is a very big deal. I signed up for Facebook eons and eons ago, pretty much as soon as it became a 'thing'. In fact, I had to pretend I went to the college I went to my freshman year, because the community college I was at for my sophomore year didn't count, and back then it was only for college students.<br />
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I have hours upon hours trolling the site. In fact, I shudder to think how many days, weeks, and potentially months of my life I have spent looking at pictures, reading status updates and finding people I used to know.<br />
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But, when I moved away from all family and friends to live in small town Montana, hours from the nearest Walmart or fast food, it was a blessing. I was able to share pictures of my life, and my friends were able to share pictures of theirs. As I developed friendships with camp staff that came and went every summer, we were able to keep in touch.<br />
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Then my new husband and I left Montana and went to Alaska. Then we left Alaska and went to South Dakota. Then we left South Dakota and went to North Dakota. Then we left North Dakota and went back to South Dakota.<br />
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And everywhere we moved, Facebook came with. Grandparents could see their adorable grandchildren we produced, and I could see all the adorable children of my nearest and dearest. It made me feel like a part of their family, even though I didn't get to see them enough, and they don't know their Tante Rachie on sight.<br />
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Wow, I'm quickly typing myself back into reactivating my account!<br />
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But, it might be awhile yet. While I am sad that I am missing out on the news of babies, engagements, or just their average Tuesday night, I am amazed at how much more boring the Internet has become. I still have my blogs that I read, and those are wonderful, but there aren't as many links to click, or picture albums to browse, and that means I get to walk away that much sooner from my computer. Perhaps not as soon as my children would like, but I can tell a difference.<br />
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Pictures that have nothing to do with the subject matter, but what is a post without pictures? Especially now that I don't have a Facebook account to share them on!rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-84988479470480200222013-07-26T14:29:00.001-07:002013-07-26T16:23:29.954-07:00What I Want To Remember All those cliches are cliches for a reason right?<br />
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<i>Time is fleeting. They grow up so fast. The days are long but the years are short. </i><br />
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Yada yada yada.<br />
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So, these are the things I want to remember about my kiddos right now.<br />
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<b>Drew (2 yrs and 2 months):</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUm56nh8_YMctPVvDOaEtkK5gHjaRVM7TdGU6SC3dQVfzYttPOeYmSO1rTLPIzA9uvEzTjjZLOmlQ5h5vGHuJHDSWGZ6LFBIr39hsp9z-q2U4X1Tt0w8mHE4KmuJHN6e1Xa7C5ipeE7o4/s1600/SDC15305.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="593" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUm56nh8_YMctPVvDOaEtkK5gHjaRVM7TdGU6SC3dQVfzYttPOeYmSO1rTLPIzA9uvEzTjjZLOmlQ5h5vGHuJHDSWGZ6LFBIr39hsp9z-q2U4X1Tt0w8mHE4KmuJHN6e1Xa7C5ipeE7o4/s640/SDC15305.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Daddy teaching him to ride his 'micycle'</td></tr>
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-the way he says 'fuve you' when we tell him we love him<br />
-the cuddles he needs with mommy in the morning when he's trying to wake up<br />
-how much he loves his lovey, who he calls 'fuvey'<br />
-how much he loves his 'papa' 'mas' and 'dranma' 'dranpa' (Luke's parents and my parents respectively)<br />
-how he will happily watch 'horsies' for hours, which is what he calls my mom's eventing DVDs. 1998 Rolex is his current favorite.<br />
-his '1,2, 3 GO' before he takes off running or jumping<br />
-the way he runs with his shoulders all scrunched up, pumping his arms and swinging his little bum from side to side<br />
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-listening to him learn new words everyday, and start to use them in his sentences. we currently hear about how he 'throbs up' (throws up) several times a day (he really doesn't do that much anymore. but enough that he knows what its called).</div>
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-his extreme love for 'movies'. he loves Baby Einstein <i>Baby MacDonald</i> and <i>World Animals</i> and <i>Curious George</i>.</div>
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-his little peanut size. he is still about 6 months behind, so he's the size of an 18 month old.</div>
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-his love for all things farm, and watching him 'feed my cows hay with tractor and wagon' multiple times a day or listening to him ask to 'milk tows' with 'papa and daddee'</div>
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-how he is super outgoing/talkative at home, but stares down strangers with a death glare</div>
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-listening to him greet daddy when he comes home 'hi daddee!'</div>
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-how much he LOVES being outside, and will happily bomb around for hours at a time</div>
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-his excitement about life</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><b>Will (9 1/2 months):</b></span></div>
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<br />
-his big blue eyes that capture everyone he meets<br />
-his big smile and contagious giggles<br />
-the way he sucks in air over and over again very loudly when he gets really happy<br />
-the way he books it crawling to get to whoever he is excited to see, who is mostly daddy right now<br />
-his sweet cuddles<br />
-the way he eats and eats and eats<br />
-his easy going personality, unless Drew takes his toy<br />
-listening to his motor run<br />
-the way he burrows into his lovey or our shoulder and then comes out with a big ole' shy grin<br />
-how much he loves hanging out outside, eating dirt, rocks and grass <br />
-the way he has conversations with you - he'll say a syllable (ta or ba), you repeat it to him, and he'll repeat it back to you. again and again and again.<br />
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I really am the luckiest. These two little boys are my constant companions, the ache in my heart, the joy and laughter in my day, the frustration and exhaustion behind the bags under my eyes. </div>
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I know everyone thinks this about their kids, but the world really is better by having these 2 little munchkins running around.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGABJAUzRrjDHfwFCkQdHMy7xBL-ohsKFQ_5AGVWD0V0TBqVZds4xe0sgNR082whYRQn-8yuHSkGqBDeEM_ygcd8MKK1Mee7RBvjfiK5b_-KxNsOXJNloyaQV9klmn1K4A6rPizKCfYMA/s1600/SDC15289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGABJAUzRrjDHfwFCkQdHMy7xBL-ohsKFQ_5AGVWD0V0TBqVZds4xe0sgNR082whYRQn-8yuHSkGqBDeEM_ygcd8MKK1Mee7RBvjfiK5b_-KxNsOXJNloyaQV9klmn1K4A6rPizKCfYMA/s640/SDC15289.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">a classic 'in front of the peonies' shot taken in the backyard of the house where my grandparents lived, where my dad grew up and where I spent much of my childhood. my grandma Myrtle always posed us in front of this exact bush.<br />
just carrying on tradition! the house is about to leave the family, so I insisted we take pictures before we didn't have a chance anymore.</td></tr>
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<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-42792848044852547082013-07-24T08:42:00.000-07:002013-07-24T08:42:01.299-07:00snack timelast week, I decided that I NEEDED a snack. the combination of nursing, working out, and being me was too much and I was starving.<br />
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I started in the fridge, worked my way to the cupboard, up to the freezer and back to the fridge. nothing looked good, nothing sounded good.<br />
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until, I saw the pickles. and then I knew I was set.<br />
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so I grabbed the pickles, some cheese and a Sierra Mist.<br />
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(no, I'm not pregnant. a girl can like pickles anytime. I have since I was a wee little girl and would put down a whole jar while watching some cartoon on my grandma's TV)<br />
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I went to open the pickle jar and due to some combination of my gracefulness and gravity, I ended up spilling pickle juice all over the counter, floor and my legs.<br />
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it might be a true indication of my graceful state that when I let out a yelp of surprise, my husband did not come running to my aid or ask what happened. he knew I was fine, and he knew I was being me.<br />
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anyways, if you think that this let me deter me from having my pickles, you would be sadly mistaken. I threw a towel down, grabbed a bowl of pickles and went on my merry way. pickle legs and all. Luke sure is a lucky guy!rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-88233274071251785242013-05-07T22:31:00.002-07:002013-05-07T22:31:30.835-07:00Claiming My Blog<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/5986671/?claim=qvndv8fzggj">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a><br />
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Since Google is breaking my heart by taking away my beloved Reader (seriously? I use Chrome as my browser, and my Google Reader Next button is my number 1 window. that's above FACEBOOK. I'm looking at you Zimbelman. Couldn't you have done something???), I am doing what all the cool-cats are doing and checking out the different options. So far Bloglovin is kinda sorta getting my vote, but it's dueling it out with Feedly. But I'm still gonna claim my blog, because it's mine! And I wants it. Even if I neglect it terribly, those are still my dust bunnies!<br />
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That is all.<br />
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There will be a real update coming soon(ish). Promise!rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-35512405920880088022013-04-08T14:22:00.002-07:002013-04-08T14:37:40.377-07:00Book Review :: Dirty God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>In <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dirty God: Jesus in the Trenches</span>, Johnnie Moore draws on both Scripture and his extensive experience with other cultures and religions to show how the God of the Bible is unique in his willingness to be near us in all of our messiness. Moore outlines the central importance of the doctrine of grace while introducing readers to a humble and human Jesus who reaches out to us at our worst and pulls us up to our best.</i></div>
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<i>Grace, Moore argues, is something that is both gotten and given, and the two-part structure of the book allows readers to explore both of these dynamics. By offering hope rather than condemnation and showing the practical applications of grace in today’s world, <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dirty God</span> will appeal to both the committed Christian and the spiritual seeker looking for a more authentic faith. Challenging and engaging, <span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Dirty God</span> is sure to establish Johnnie Moore as an emerging voice for Millennial and Gen-X evangelicals for years to come.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">While I will be honest and say that I often gravitate toward fiction (sometimes the less thinking the better ya know?), I was struck by the picture and thought behind this book when I saw it as a review option on </span></span><a href="http://www.booksneeze.com/" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">Booksneeze</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">. I was ready for something that made me think and this book did not </span><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">disappoint</span><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">In this call to action, Moore focuses on the idea of Grace. Grace that is overwhelming, grace that goes above and beyond our </span><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">humanness</span><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">, grace that is modeled on the grace that Christ showed to us. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">There is so much hurt in this world. So much disease. So much injustice. Are we adding to it or helping to take it away?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">I think that Moore has some really timely reminders about what our lives as Christians are supposed to look like. While it is easy to look at someone's life and pick apart what they are doing wrong, there is something about a log and a speck that comes to mind. Is our job to be God's rule enforcers, or is our job to be God's hands and feet to bring His love to our broken world?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">While that's a hard idea for my little rule-loving soul to take in fully, I want to err on the side of love. To the least of these is what we do to Christ. Since I myself am a least, I will try to be love incarnate to those I encounter. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Moore has some pet projects that he mentions in the book, and that is great. Instead of just giving a vague prescriptive, he gets down and dirty and tells us 'look, this is something you can actually DO'. Maybe those things aren't your thing. Cool. Go do that thing that is your thing. Just go. Do. Be His Hands and Feet, because that is ultimately what He wants from us. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Grace. Mercy. Love. Mighty mighty love. And grace in the dirty parts of life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 20.796875px;">*this book was provided for me to review by Booksneeze. the opinions are all my own*</span></div>
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<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-49823094292302029042013-01-25T10:29:00.000-08:002013-01-25T10:29:52.513-08:00Will Bennett: What's In A NameWhen it came time to name our baby, we took our sweet time. Apparently naming our children is not our strong suit, as we ran into the same situation with Drew.<br />
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As soon as we found out it was a boy at our 20 week ultrasound, we got serious about picking a name. However, we could not come to consensus. </div>
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So, when a friend offered help on FB for naming kiddos, I jumped at the chance:</div>
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(sorry about my inelegant name covering up, but oh well. privacy for the win!)</div>
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She brought up a name choice that we hadn't thought about before. William has never been a favorite of mine, but I really liked the nickname possibilities, especially Liam. I also really liked the idea of tying it into my family, because Drew ties into Luke's side.</div>
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(for those of you who might have problems following the thread, my dad's name is Willard and my grandpa's name was Willie)</div>
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So, I kept bringing up Liam as a possiblity, but Luke was never sold on it. And I was never totally sold on Will. So, we kept throwing names out there and shooting them down. And on. And on. Ad nauseum.</div>
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And then, we had the baby. And after a couple of days, people typically like you to name your child. So, we got down to work and talked and talked and talked some more.</div>
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I had come across Bennett on one of my searches and it grew on me.I also liked that it meant 'blessed'. But, I didn't really want it to be shortened to Ben. </div>
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So, we came back to Will. And I once again really liked how it tied into my family. And that it meant 'strong protector'. And to be honest, I liked how it was like Drew - short for a longer name and only 1 syllable.</div>
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Obviously, in the end, Will Bennett was the winner. Our blessed strong protector. </div>
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But, man, naming children is hard work!!</div>
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rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-9223497870799157892013-01-17T23:39:00.001-08:002013-01-25T10:29:22.930-08:00Failure To Thrive :: An UpdateThe last <a href="http://rachelanelson.blogspot.com/2012/11/failure-to-thrive-another-update.html">update</a> I posted about Drew's struggle to gain weight mentioned that we were going to take him to one last specialist, the pediatric endocrinologist.<div>
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Well, we took him. And, like we expected, we did not really learn much. In fact, the doctor did not run any tests. From his viewpoint, all the pertinent tests had been run, and any that he could add to the mix would be more hassle than they were worth because of how intense they were. </div>
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Basically, all he could tell us was that he did not feel Drew's problem was a result of an endocrinological problem. He did not have any of the typical signs of a kiddo who was lacking in Human Growth Hormone, and his thyroid was normal on all of his blood tests. He did throw out the possibility that his structural growth (bones and teeth) were simply 6 months behind where they should be. After Drew turns 2, we can have an x-ray done of his hand and that could tell us more definitively if that is the issue or not.</div>
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So, we took him home and decided to be all done with specialists. They weren't telling us anything our family doctor wasn't telling us, and it wasn't worth driving all the way to the city for a 15 minute appointment where we were told to keep on doing what we were doing and to come back in 2 months for the same advice.</div>
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Then, Drew got sick. And was sick for basically most of December. He cycled through a cold, the stomach flu, roseola and an ear infection.</div>
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Not only that, but he was throwing up. Majorly throwing up. I tracked it for a couple of weeks, and it was intense. I could barely keep up with his laundry. One of his sheets was almost always in the wash, along with a lovey (getting 2 loveys was one of the best decisions we have ever made!!). </div>
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It felt like we were at the doctor's constantly. Between the throwing up and his other sickness, he started to lose weight. And that was slightly concerning. There was talk of sending us to Omaha to the Children's Hospital because of his condition.</div>
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It was a really stressful couple of weeks. We had a newborn, I was still recovering from a c-section, and our poor little kiddo was so sick. At one point, he ran such a high fever and felt so junky that he spent a couple of days basically just sleeping. He would get up from his nap and come out to the living room to fall asleep on my lap on the couch. Very unlike him!</div>
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However, we were finally able to get him on antibiotics, and we took him off of dairy to give his system a chance to reset. For a month he drank soy and almond milk, and went light on other dairy offerings. And it worked. He quit throwing up, he started to gain weight (we finally broke the 20 lb mark!!), and got his energy back. We slowly reintroduced dairy into his diet, and it's been going really well. He had one instance of throwing up last weekend, but besides that, he hasn't thrown up since before Christmas. </div>
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His turn around was so great that our doctor went from talking about Omaha Children's to telling us that we didn't need to come back to see him for 2 months. So lovely.</div>
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So, things have settled down. Drew is eating a lot better than he ever has, he still has a ton of energy, and he is astounding us every day with his developing mind. Our doctor is going to keep a slightly closer eye on him than some of his other patients, but we're praying that we're over the hump. He might just follow his own growth curve instead of the growth curve 'they' say he should. As long as he's growing, we'll be happy!</div>
rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-4406248180557510072013-01-17T23:03:00.000-08:002013-01-17T23:04:01.941-08:00Book Review :: Song of the Brokenhearted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Ava has a loving family, a beautiful house, and a solid faith.</i></div>
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<i>Suddenly, her ideal life will be completely broken . . . in the best of ways.</i></div>
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<i>Ava’s life is full of great things. Her daughter is getting married to just the right guy, her husband’s company has kept them financially thriving for years, her son is a freshman in high school, playing football and doing well, and the ministry she started is keeping her busy as she reaches out to those with “broken hearts.”</i></div>
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<i>Then it all falls apart. Ava’s safe world becomes unanchored, and she is forced to face the childhood she’s run away from her entire life. Just as she’s trying to sift through the pieces, the doorbell rings and Ava is confronted with the surprise of her life.</i></div>
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<i>Ava must set out on a journey that takes her back home—something Ava hasn’t done in twenty years. As she travels across the state of Texas, strangers offer her kindness and remind her of the meaning of hope and forgiveness.</i></div>
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<i>It is in this journey back that Ava discovers God in a new way. She sees she's been hiding her brokenness behind good deeds and a safe life. Learning what it means to lose it all is just the start of Ava’s journey – as is the new song God is writing on her heart.</i></div>
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When I was scrolling through <a href="http://www.booksneeze.com/">Booksneeze</a> looking for a new book to review, this one jumped out at me. First of all, because of the beautiful artwork (what? of COURSE I judge a book by it's cover.). But, after hearing Sheila Walsh speak at Women of Faith last year, I was also really excited to read something she had written, because that woman is a storyteller.<br />
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The book did not disappoint. I like how Ava's family was human. It wasn't just people around her that were struggling, but she was struggling. She couldn't juggle it all, she let things slip through her fingers, and she was real. The authors also weren't afraid to show her failings and weaknesses. I saw myself so much in her, longing for a comfortable life, not wanting my life to make waves. If everything would fall into place, then life would be good right?<br />
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Of course, life does not work that way, and it really is for the best. No matter how hard that lesson is.<br />
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The characters that Walsh and Coloma created to bounce off of Ava were all so interesting. They were able to make them real, and a lot of them popped right off the page and into my living room. There are a lot of hurting people in this world, and these characters told just a couple of those stories. The one that I felt the most for, and who pushed against me the most, was the typical church lady who was always in the background of Ava's life, 'praying' for her, and taking upon herself the job of the Holy Spirit. It is easy to fall into that role, and it was a good reminder for me to put down my judging pen and pick up my grace-filled pen.<br />
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There was some weakness in how neatly the end of the story pulls together, but overall I found this book to be a really enjoyable read. Redemption is always a beautiful theme.<br />
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I would give it 3 1/2 stars.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*this book was provided for me to review by Booksneeze. the opinions are all my own*</span></div>
rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-23984403700728472352013-01-15T10:32:00.002-08:002013-01-25T10:30:09.923-08:00Will Bennett:: A Birth StoryFor those of you who only know me through my blog, have I got a surprise for you! You see, 3 months ago, we went ahead and had ourselves another baby.<br />
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Meet Will Bennett:<br />
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(taken when he was 1 day old)</div>
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To go all the way back to his beginning, we must step back in time to last January. </div>
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I had decided to lose my baby weight, once and for all, so I started to work out. About 3 weeks into the process, I became EXHAUSTED.</div>
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I was so tired, that it was about all I could to drag myself out to the couch in the morning so D could play with toys. I spent much of my time laying around, getting up only when necessary to change D's diaper or feed him. I couldn't understand what was going on, but figured it was just a combination of having a baby who woke up all night long and my winter blues.</div>
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Finally, on Valentine's Day, when I couldn't summon up the energy to go on a date with my husband like we'd planned, Luke made me take a pregnancy test. I grumbled the whole time, because OF COURSE I wasn't pregnant.</div>
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Well, joke was on me, because, well, as you can see, there was indeed a baby in there!</div>
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My pregnancy was like Drew's in that I was very sick the first trimester (but this time I had a doctor, so I was able to get on medicine. it didn't make the nauseousness go away, but I was able to at least take care of D), very tired the whole time and didn't really care to be touched much. I was still nursing D when I got pregnant, and it was incredibly painful, even before I knew I was preggo. As time went on, my supply continued to drop and drop, until I finally weaned him at 13 months and my body didn't need to really adjust at all. </div>
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However, over all I handled this pregnancy better. I was calmer, and did not have as many anxiety attacks. I knew what I was going through was worth it, which helped so much! I also didn't gain quite as much weight and my blood pressure stayed where it was supposed to, so no pre-eclampsia.</div>
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When the time came for our 20 week ultrasound, we were pretty sure it was a girl. We had even picked out a name and called the baby by that name for about a week beforehand. Well ... as you can tell, we were slightly off! However, it did not bother us at all that we were having another boy. We were so excited that Drew was getting a little brother so close in age.</div>
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So, I made it through the looooooooooooooooooooong hot summer (not always gracefully or graciously, but we all survived), and it was getting closer to our due date. Except, also like Drew, we had a bunch of due dates. LMP told us Oct 7, first ultrasound said Oct 25, and second ultrasound said Oct 19. So, basically we knew he was coming sometime in October, and we also knew that it would be bad if I went into active labor since it was too close to my c-section with D. The other kicker was that my doctor was going to a week long conference the week right before my due date (we have very bad timing with our kiddos and our doctor's travel plans. he had to put off his vacation by a day when Drew was born. we've agreed to plan a little better next time ;-)).<br />
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On Wednesday, October 10, we had supper at our friends' house, and while I was sitting at the table my stomach got really tight. It didn't really hurt per say, but I could definitely feel it. I didn't have anything like that with D, so it was a bit of a surprise. We went on with our night, and nothing like that happened again.<br />
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Then, the next morning I was talking on the phone to my friend Karla, and it happened again. We talked about whether or not it was contractions or Braxten Hicks, and she thought probably Braxten Hicks. After I got done talking to her, I texted Bethany and asked her if she had had BH with her kiddo. She said if I put my feet up and drank lots of water, they would most likely go away. So, that's what I did. Except, they didn't go away. They were never painful, but they were strong enough and often enough that I was definitely taking note.<br />
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Luke got home at 3:00, and we talked about what was happening. We agreed they were often enough and close enough together that we should at least call in. Our doctor told us to come in for a non-stress test, so we dropped D off with Grandpa (forgetting to give him diapers, a sippy cup or anything else he might need ... whoops!), and headed to town. I got hooked up, and while we saw some spikes for awhile, they mostly went away. However, our doctor is pretty cautious, so I ended up with an overnight stay to be monitored and hydrated in hopes it would cause the contractions to stop.<br />
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In the morning, another mama to be came in who was actually in labor. So, I got kicked out of our one labor room and sent to the (really nice) hospital room they save for new parents, so that I would have a claim on it if we did go in for a c-section (I LOVE LOVE LOVE the nurses at our clinic/hospital - they take such good care of us and think of things like that!). Eventually, my mother-in-law and Drew came to pick me, since the doctor wanted me to go home and see if bedrest would stop things.<br />
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Since I have some of the most wonderful in-laws a person could ask for, my MIL came home with me to take care of Drew. It was a little weird to just sit on the couch when I felt fine (I was on pretty strict limits - I could only get up to go to the bathroom and wasn't really allowed to eat much), but it gave me time to think about the contractions. And they didn't go away. I was texting with Luke on his lunch break, and we decided to pray that if it was time, God would make it really clear. I got one of my strongest contractions right then, so we took it as a sign to prepare for baby!<br />
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I called back in at 3:00, and our doctor agreed that we should just go ahead and have our c-section that night (it was Friday October 12 at this point). Since I figured it would be ok if I got up now that we knew we were having a baby, I showered and packed my bag (I had used my time on the couch to put together a list, which helped a lot!). I also packed up some clothes and whatnot for D to take to my in-laws, where he would be camping out while we were in the hospital.<br />
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Luke raced home from work, we took a couple of pictures for the last time as a family of 3, and headed to the hospital.<br />
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Well, it turns out that the mama who came in that morning was still working on having her babe, and since our doctor was also her doctor, we had to wait around a bit. But, it was finally time, and I was taken to the OR. And, at 7:37 this little cutie was born:<br />
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He was 8lbs 8oz and 20 inches long, scored perfectly on his Apgars and had no problems. We had gone into it thinking he might be a little early and with the knowledge that we might have to deal with a NICU situation, but obviously that wasn't anything we had to worry about! </div>
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After I was stapled back together, they took me back to the recovery room, which is where we were when we started to text and call people to let them know baby had come (only our immediate families knew something was going on - so even my friends who I had talked to about Braxten Hicks were surprised!). It was also there that we found out that the hospital was on lockdown. Apparently, one of the patients was dealing with an unwanted guest. As a result, the hospital was on lockdown at night the whole weekend (when Drew was born, we had to go sit in a hallway with all the other patients because of a tornado warning ... so apparently our presence is a sign of exciting times at the hospital!).</div>
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The rest of our time in the hospital was pretty normal: staring at our baby, telling people, trying to figure out a name, dealing with my pain, nursing, etc, etc, etc). My in-laws brought Drew to meet his brother on Saturday night. He was mostly interested in exploring, but didn't seem to mind the baby that got in his way of sitting by me!</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">After we got home, we were blessed to have tons of help. Since I had had a c-section, I wasn't able to lift Drew for 6 weeks (that's a loooong time!). Luke's mom came over to help the first morning, and then my mom came for the rest of the week. It was SO nice to have her here!</span></div>
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After my mom left, we had a weekend of Vander Ley family activity, and then my sister-in-law Julie came to help. She stayed for that next week, which was also AMAZING!</div>
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After all my family left, my MIL was so good to come over and help me as needed. It was rare to have a day where she didn't come over for at least a while. It was SO nice!! We are incredibly blessed by such loving family!<br />
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And, so here we are. 3 months later, one little boy more in our family, and as happy as can be!<br />
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<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-17371374816301140112012-11-14T05:51:00.001-08:002013-01-25T10:30:26.739-08:00Failure To Thrive:: Another UpdateWe are now over 5 months into our journey of having a child who was diagnosed as Failure To Thrive (for those of you who don't know, Failure to Thrive simply means that they are not thriving at the level that they should be, according to the averages, charts, etc.).<br />
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5 months of pushing Pediasure, trying our hardest to make him eat, going to doctors appointments, and spending time worrying.<br />
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So far, nothing has helped.<br />
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In July we took him to Sioux Falls to see a Pediatric Gastrointestinal doctor. While we were there, the doctor called in his colleague, who was a Pediatric Cardiologist to consult. Which meant that Drew was put through hours of tests. He had his blood drawn (during that procedure, both he and I were sobbing, and he got so mad that he blew out his vein, so they weren't able to get all the blood they needed. I refused to let them poke him again). He had an EKG and an echo-cardiogram (thank goodness for Baby Einstein Old McDonald, as he loved seeing the animals so he was distracted enough not to cry/move around/fight them during the whole procedure). He had an upper GI test (thank goodness for Grandmas as I wasn't allowed to be with him because it was an x-ray and I was pregnant. but, he still fought them, and it took at least 4 nurses to hold him down).<br />
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He was so mad, that he cried the whole way out of the clinic, and only calmed down once I stripped him and let him play in the water fountain:<br />
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At the end of the day, the only answer we got was that he had a mild case of acid reflux. Well then. That was a lot of drama for not a lot of news.</div>
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However, I will say that I was grateful that his heart tests all came back normal. In fact, the cardiologist told us he never wanted to see us again. Done and done.</div>
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The GI did choose to put him on a low dose of Prilosec to see if that helped (it hasn't). Besides that, they were pretty much flummoxed.</div>
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So, we go along with our life. Trying to get him to eat (he doesn't). Feeding him Pediasure. Enjoying him. </div>
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Today we take him to see the Pediatric Endocrinologist. Maybe he will have the answer?</div>
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I'm not holding my breath.</div>
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<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-85371559386892637112012-09-10T18:56:00.001-07:002012-09-11T12:30:09.663-07:00Book Review:: The Baker's Wife<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>If what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, why is Audrey growing weaker by the day?</i></div>
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<i>When her husband Geoff, a pastor, lost his job after a scandal rocked their congregation, Audrey's never lost faith.</i></div>
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<i>They decide to resurrect a failing bakery as a way to heal family wounds and restore their place in the community.</i></div>
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<i>Running late to the bakery one foggy morning, Audrey strikes a vehicle. Emerging from her car into the fog, she discovers she hit a motor scooter. But there’s no rider in sight. Just blood.</i></div>
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<i>The absence of the driver is a mystery, especially to Sergeant Jack Mansfield, the detective and church member responsible for firing Geoff from his pulpit. The scooter belongs to Jack’s wife, Julie, a teacher at the local high school, who has vanished…like morning fog.</i></div>
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<i>Though there is no evidence to support Jack’s growing suspicion that Audrey and Geoff were involved in Julie’s disappearance, the detective is convinced of their guilt. When he takes the tiny bakery and its patron’s hostage, Audrey must unravel the secret of Julie’s disappearance and her own mysterious suffering before Jack hits his breaking point.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">This book is one of mystery, </span><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">intrigue</span><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;"> and catching your breath because you're not really sure what's going to happen next. It's watching layers of people all fold together, and getting mad at the bad guy, because he is being such a good bad guy!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">This story kept my interest, and I enjoyed both times that I read it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">I also appreciated Healy delving into circumstances that might not always get attention in the mainstream church - namely, can God use physical manifestations of pain to help us reach out to people who are the ones experiencing the 'true' pain? It's an interesting concept, and a thought worth delving into.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">It is my belief and experience that God can't be put in a box. I think he uses people, circumstances, dreams, and sometimes pain to bring truth into our lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">The experiences that Audrey go through is unique, and something I really appreciated about the book. I also appreciated the side story of Diane, and the mystery that shrouded her sad self. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Also, Jack was a fascinating character. His conviction that his way was THE way was admirable, if completely off base. He did a lot of harm through his belief system, and it was hard to sympathize with him. But, when we step back and look at him, are we really so different? Don't we at times railroad over people in the name of our Truth? (don't get me wrong - I'm not saying there isn't Truth. I just think sometimes we major on the minors and minor on the majors. and sometimes there are casualties we leave behind). </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Overall, I would rate this book a 3.5. Definitely one I will read again, but not one that I love to pieces and will rave about forever. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">*Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for my honest review from BookSneeze*</span></span></div>
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rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-43061189814593224742012-09-10T18:56:00.000-07:002012-09-10T18:56:11.224-07:00Book Review:: Break-Through:When To Give In, How To Push Back<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-style: italic;">Break-Through: When To Give In, How To Push Back. The Moment That Changes Everything </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial;">by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic;">"Well, I guess he does have a good side."... "You know, it's probably my own fault." ... "I need to cut him some slack, because he's had a rough life." It's easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive relationships - caving in to a spouse's addictions and consequent abuses, ignoring a live-at-home son's inconsiderate behavior, or putting up with a supervisor's manipulation or even harassment. We excuse them again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting respectful boundaries. </span><em style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Break-Through</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic;"> has a self-test to help readers get back in control and is filled with useful tools to help them make big changes in their life. This important book will show readers when to give in, but also when to push back for a happier, more stable life</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">.</span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">I have to admit that over all I am a fiction/memoir girl. But, there are times that my psychology nerd side comes to the forefront, and I want to pick up something with a little meat to it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Well, this book definitely had meat. So much meat in fact, that it took me several months to get through it. I simply couldn't sit down and finish it all at once. But, I think overall, that is a good thing. After all, it means that I had a lot to think about.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">And having something to think about while reading a book? I would say that's a good sign.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Clinton and Springle do an excellent job of probing into different reasons people stay in difficult relationships. While the book's topic is more about co-dependency than I was expecting, there was some excellent advice for dealing with people types we all encounter, even if it isn't in an intimate relationship. We all know people who tend to be a little more enmeshed than is healthy, or who push themselves forward so that they are dominating the conversation/relationship/situation to cover up their insecurity. This book delves into the reasons behind their actions, and gives some practical tips for dealing with the frustrations.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Not only that, but every once in awhile the authors would pull out these zingers that made me break out the highlighter and turn down the page corner. That's a good sign friends!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">For example:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">"We wear very different clothes, drive cars, hold jobs, and have children of our own, but emotionally, we're like the scared kid in the hall who is unsure that anyone will be his friend" (pg 74). {that is truth!}</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">"God sets us free, but not adrift into confusion and isolation. He frees us from the prison of sin and shame so that we can genuinely know him, delight in him, and find more meaning than we ever imagined. When we begin to grasp this truth, it thrills our heart. This new affection begins to crowd out the fear and arrogance that has dominated us for so long" (pg 103)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Perhaps you, or someone you love, is dealing with a situation involving co-dependency. Perhaps you just would like more information about living in this world with difficult people. Or perhaps you're a bit of a psychology nerd like me (and my mom. apple doesn't fall far from the tree people!). If any of those are you, I would definitely recommend this book! It's not the end-all, be-all, but then again, what book is? It will give you stuff to think about, topics to delve into further, and really, what more can you ask of a book?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">*Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for my honest review from Handlebar Marketing. All opinions contained within are mine, and mine alone.*</span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-59417319992479899782012-09-10T18:55:00.000-07:002012-09-10T18:55:38.626-07:00Failure To Thrive :: An Update(I wrote this back in July, but thought I'd still post it to give a complete overview of his story. Look for more updated information soon!)<br />
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Well, it has been over a month since we have gotten the 'official' diagnosis on the Drewster. He has been weighed twice, drank more than his weight in milk and Pediasure and is officially weaned.<br />
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And?<br />
<br />
He has gained a full pound. Which is great!<br />
<br />
However, he did all of his gaining in the first 18 days.<br />
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Our original appointment where we got the diagnosis was on the 31st of May. We then took him back to see the doctor on the 18th of June, where he went from 16 lbs 14 oz to 17 lbs 13 oz.<br />
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Cue ecstatic cheering.<br />
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He was drinking whole milk like a champ (especially since he gets to have chocolate milk, the lucky duck. hey, it's all about the calories right??), and downing Chocolate Shake Pediasure like it was going out of style (once again, it's all about the calories!).<br />
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The whole food thing wasn't really exciting him all that much, but he was eating a fair amount.<br />
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Then, he just kinda quit eating. When I say my kid doesn't eat a lot, I don't mean he eats a container of yogurt and then quits. I mean he eats 1 tsp of yogurt and then quits. I don't mean he eats a serving of spaghetti and then quits, I mean he eats about 2 TB worth and then quits (and spaghetti is one of his all-time favorites!).<br />
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Cue frustrated mommy sighs.<br />
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It's hard. When I took him in to get weighed on July 5, he was up an ounce. One measly ounce. This was on a different scale, so it's hard to say really how much he has taken in, but still. ONE OUNCE.<br />
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We give him food all day long. He gets more treats than I am comfortable with, simply because if we can get him to take anything in we consider it a win. There are time he doesn't eat a single thing except maybe 1 piece of shredded cheese. I would love to just feed him his favorites so he would eat, but I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE ARE.<br />
<br />
Except cheese. He loves cheese. So he gets it a lot. But you know what cheese does? Binds a person up, if you know what I mean. And since starting on this journey, our poor little one has gone through some serious bouts of constipation. As in screaming, writhing, sweating and crying his way through the process and then being completely wiped afterwards. It is pitiful.<br />
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Granted, he has also gone through 2 extended episodes of the opposite issue, but that I blame on teething.<br />
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Anyways, here we are. Still documenting his every ounce (when I can muster the strength. some days its just too much ya know? but I figure any days I do it is better than nothing. the doctors can be as upset as they want, but I think they'll get a pretty good idea from what I do write down). Still shoving whole milk and Pediasure down his throat (except the past couple of days because he had some projectile vomiting issues. in a camper that is covered solely in carpet and fabric. let's just say it's not ideal). Still trying to tempt him with the nummy, nummy food.<br />
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On the 25th we go to see a Pediatric Gastrointestinal doctor in Sioux Falls. He was originally meant to see a Pediatric Endocrinologist, but they passed us on to the GI. Hopefully we will get some answers. If not? Well, I guess we'll just do what we do and love on our little boy. Because he is very lovable!rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-12670095344196019552012-06-16T00:00:00.000-07:002012-09-10T16:06:49.929-07:00The TinMan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ya'll have seen <i>The Wizard of Oz</i> right?</div>
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(if you haven't, ummm, well, I'm going to say for the sake of living in America, you probably should, because hello, it's a classic. if you really don't want to watch the movie, then read the book! or the book series! both are fun)<br />
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I was talking with Luke today (and to be honest, crying a little, because, hello, hormonal woman!) and trying to explain to him how I felt about being in social interactions lately (spoiler alert: not very good). As I was talking about how I felt as if someone physically takes my mouth and keeps it shut, no matter how much I want it to open and words to come out, the idea of the TinMan came to me.<br />
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When Dorothy sets out on her adventure to the Emerald City, she encounters her 3 traveling companions along the way. First is the scarecrow, then is the TinMan. The TinMan has been stuck in the forest for years because he was out working when it started to rain and all of his joints rusted shut.<br />
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Including his mouth.<br />
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And that's where I come in.<br />
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I spend a lot of time alone. Mostly by choice, partly by circumstance. We have 2 homes, and have very sporadic schedules as to when we are going to be in each place, so it's hard to develop any kind of social schedule. Especially when you're an extreme introvert like me.<br />
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Plus, both places are new to me and so I am starting from scratch to develop relationships. And developing relationships takes time. And effort. And I have a baby who needs a somewhat consistent schedule and I am tired (cue: excuse symphony).<br />
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But as a result of all my aloneness (with the exception of the babe and husband of course), my words have dried up. According to a book called <i>The Female Brain, </i>women supposedly say 20,000 words a day (and men only 7000).<br />
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Ha. Ha, ha and ha!<br />
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20,000??? Sometimes I'm not even sure I say 1000.<br />
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Once again, mostly by choice. There are times where I construct flimsy excuses as to why I can't go to this or that or get together with this or that person. Or I just plain old chicken out of texting someone to go to the park, when I know that the worst they can do is say no.<br />
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And I am not a mother who spends a lot of time talking to Drew (don't get me wrong. I talk to my child. I just don't explain everything I am doing all day, every day, like some parenting sites tell you to do).<br />
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And with Luke's job, it's easier to talk to him via text rather than calling just because I never know if he is loading, unloading, or driving. We do try to talk at least once while he's on shift, but we mostly text.<br />
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Add in one short call to my mom on a typical day, and you get my lack of words.<br />
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And my rusted together mouth.<br />
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Because, as with all muscles, lack of use causes atrophy. And my mouth has atrophied. Not only is it physically tiring for me to talk a lot (seriously. sit me down with one of my besties, and I will talk. and walk away with a very, very tired and sore mouth/jaw), but it's emotionally exhausting to even think about talking. I see a nice looking mom at the park with a kid who's close to Drew's age and I do almost everything I can to avoid her. Oh, I try not to be a total snot. I do say hi, smile, etc, but I don't walk right up to her and strike up a conversation.<br />
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So the moral of the story?<br />
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I need to oil my mouth.<br />
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Except not literally. Because that's gross.<br />
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But in a figurative way.<br />
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I need to do something, because I am the dreaded 'l' word (lonely, for those of you wondering). But it's hard. And not as easy as just keeping my comfy pants on and staying home. But if I don't do it, who will?<br />
<br />rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-3091253984336536242012-06-14T08:04:00.000-07:002012-06-14T08:04:53.678-07:00Failure To ThriveDrew has always been a wee little guy. When he was born he was a mere 6 lb 5 oz. Sure, that's not exactly the smallest baby that has been born, but considering I was over 9 lbs when I was born, I was a bit surprised. In fact, I had to go buy smaller sleepers for him because the ones I had were way too big. He sure was cute in his little preemie pajamas though!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(our little grumpus on his birth day. ooo so tiny!)</span></div>
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As he continued to grow he never shot up. He always hovered at the 25th or less percentile for height/weight (40th for head ... but what can I say? he's a smart kid!). And then his percentiles started to drop. He went from the 25th to the 10th. And then from the 10th he disappeared right off the charts. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(still just a wee little thing. drowning in his 0-3 month shorts)</span></div>
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As any good doctor would, our doctor started to get nervous. After all, they have these Bell Curves for a reason. And when someone isn't on a Bell Curve, they don't really know how to react to that. So we started to look more into what was going on. </div>
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He considered the possibility that perhaps Drew's heart murmur was connected. However, after monitoring it pretty closely for a month, it became clear that it was fading, and that possibility was taken off the table. </div>
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We were stumped. But, we just kept soldiering on. After all, our baby was happy and healthy (with the exception of weight). He was meeting all his developmental milestones. His little legs were quite chunky and he still hasn't grown wrists. Plus, he constantly moves, so we kinda figured he was just burning it all off. So, we were okay with his size. After all, his daddy was never huge, nor were his aunt and uncles on that side.</div>
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But, our doctor continued to be worried. I had to call in or stop in every month to get him weighed. And that number wasn't going up. Maybe an ounce or two a month, but that was it. So, we were given an order for a blood panel. We didn't rush right out to do it, but we knew our doctor would insist at his 12 month check-up if we hadn't done it, so we went ahead and did it ahead of time so he would have the results.</div>
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And? Nothing. There might have been a number or two that was a little higher or lower than it should have been, but nothing unreasonable or even noteworthy. </div>
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All this leads up to last week. Our wee little guy went from being a tiny little wee to a bit bigger of a wee. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(celebrating being one with Minnesota family and friends!)</span></div>
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And it was time for his 12 month well child check. We trotted in to get his weight, and I was feeling good. He felt heavier, he really had taken off on the whole eating real food thing, and he was obviously doing ok. So I stripped him down and plunked him on the scale with a bit of mommy pride. After all, I had done it. I had kept my little boy on the right track. I was certain he was up at least a pound from the last time.</div>
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Sadly my optimism was a bit too optimistic. </div>
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He wasn't up a pound. In fact, he was down from the last time he had been weighed. However, in all fairness that was on a different scale and involved him wearing a onesie and a diaper. But, after I told our nurse that, she had me put him in a onesie and a diaper just for comparison sake. He was still down. The only argument I had on my side was that he was on a different scale. And since I was quibbling over mere ounces, somehow I don't think I really had a leg to stand on.</div>
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So, here we are with a little guy who is quite insistent on staying little. Not only did he stop gaining weight, but he stopped growing length wise. He dropped from 10th percentile to 5th percentile in height. And he still isn't touching the chart with his weight. </div>
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All of that leads to a diagnosis: failure to thrive.</div>
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Well, ouch. That just shot mommy right through the heart. After all, I am the one feeding him and caring for him. He gets a majority of his sustenance from my very own body. And I didn't get the job done. </div>
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Our doctor is worried, but supportive. Right now we are tracking everything he eats, including breastmilk, which means we may be working our way to weaning since I have to pump and my supply is way down, which makes pumping hardly worth it.<br />
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Since he is now one, his food possibilities are practically endless. And we are taking advantage of that! So far he is a fan of peanut butter. We are a fan of all its calories! </div>
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We go back in on the 18th for a weight check and will assess then, but our doctor is currently working with a pediatric endocrinologist in the big city so most likely we will end up in that doctor's office within the next month or two. They are currently reviewing his files and will be getting in touch with us soon.</div>
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And if he doesn't have the answers? Then I really have no clue. We'll just keep trucking on. And enjoying our little boy, who may be little but sure has a BIG personality!</div>
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<br /></div>rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168897879505080326.post-830189673582180252012-05-05T21:31:00.000-07:002012-05-09T21:04:27.979-07:00What's In a Blog?Or a blog title as it were.<br />
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Those who pay attention may have noticed that I have changed the name of my blog, yet again. And to be honest, I am not sure that I am totally stuck on this one either. That's the freedom that comes from having an eponymous URL. Or the downside perhaps, as it lets the indecisive in me rule a bit too much.<br />
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Also, those of you who pay attention may have noticed that I have been in a bit of a writing pause for quite awhile. Is it weird to blame this space? I write stellar blog posts in my mind, but when it comes to actually writing them down, I have no motivation. No desire. I hate to blame it on a lame excuse, because if I were a true writer it wouldn't matter where I wrote it, but I don't like the look of my blog right now and so I don't want to share my words in such a space.<br />
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Lame? Yes, perhaps. Shallow? Yes, perhaps. The way my mind works? Yes, definitely.<br />
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Not only do I bemoan the lack of pretties on the page, I also really struggle with being yet another one of the multitude. Everywhere I turn there is yet another blog, doing it awesomely. These people are writing stories that are mildly interesting and are getting hundreds of hits and comments. I don't.<br />
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My fault? Yes, perhaps.<br />
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Not that I necessarily want the responsibility that comes along with having hundreds of hits and comments. People can be mean, especially if they know they are protected by a computer screen.<br />
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However, I want to be heard. I have a voice and I want to keep it from getting too rusty. So I shall press on to write just to write. Enjoying the tapping of the keyboard, the pouring of the words and the emptying of the brain. After all, I am somebody am I not? I read my own writing, and that, for now, shall be good enough.rachieanniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891461692390092827noreply@blogger.com0