Epiphany

So, after my last post, I did some thinking. And celebrated my birthday.

And, an epiphany has come to me.

I was putting so much pressure on this single day to be AH-MAZING, when in reality, there was no way I could make everything happen that I want to happen. It put so much pressure on me, so much pressure on Luke and those around me, and it left me in a puddle of tears at the end of the day from broken expectations (sometimes figuratively, but sometimes literally. poor poor Luke).

So, anyways, the epiphany. I was thinking about this last night on our way home from a very fun dinner with my in-laws. My birthday just happens to fall on the same day as my father-in-law's, so we celebrated together at Ruby Tuesdays, which was special and fun. But, it wasn't a huge gesture, and there were no fireworks. And I had spent the day wrangling 2 very precious, but very rambunctious boys (let's talk about the biting and toy throwing another day mmmkay?), so it really had been just another day.

But, what if I stopped putting my focus on just that one day? What if instead I made a list for the coming year, and simply saw that day as a beginning, a fun opening sentence on what is sure to be a great story? Instead of having all sorts of expectations for one day, I put together a list of expectations for that year. And, then, here's the kicker, I make them happen.

A dinner party outside with friends? Well, let's get on that. Buy some twinkle lights, make Luke build me a table, and blam. Go forward with that.

Get a tattoo? Well, I need to finalize a design and find a tattoo artist and make an appointment. And screw up my courage, but you know.

Volunteer somewhere. Learn some more about web design. Etc, etc, etc.

Instead of having a golden birthday, I have decided to have a golden year.

And really, I think that just sounds much more fun.

(oh, and for the record, Luke did come through. he always comes through. he got me some fun presents, let me order the steak I wanted at supper, and he picked me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers and wild grasses. what more does a girl need?)