He Will Take Care Of Us

The other morning I was struggling with trust. My car had died (again). A couple of weeks ago my car died and we figured out that I needed a new battery. So $88 later my car was working again and I breathed a sigh of relief. Much rather spend that rather than the several hundred it would be to replace my alternator or starter!

Well, unfortunately it did not end there. The other day I was slowing down for an intersection and my car died. It has done that before, but not for awhile. I thought the fuel filter I had replaced a month ago would take care of that! Also, when it does that it normally just starts up right again.
Well, a couple of tense moments later it started again and I went on my merry way.

My driving life went fine for awhile but then on Wednesday I went out to start my car so I could go home for lunch and get to AWANA early to set up everything I needed. Not so much. My car cranked and cranked and turned over and turned over but nothing happened. To say the least I was a little stressed! (But I was proud of myself that I didn't cry. For those of you who don't know me that well ... that is a major accomplishment!) I did what I always do in a car emergency and called upon the trusty skills of Ted, our resident mechanic. He couldn't do anything for me so he loaned me a vehicle and sent me on my way. He went out on Thursday morning to look at it again and it started right up. Of course. And today my pastor, Tim (Ted's son coincidentally), came up to help out at camp and hooked my car up to his code reader and found nothing. It runs perfectly.

So the question is, is my car a female hater (how is that only I hear the noises or feel the weird vibrations but as soon as a guy who knows what he is doing gets in there it runs perfectly?) or is it an answer to all the prayers that have been said (I know I was sending up a few frantic prayers and one of my friends sent me a message telling me that he and his family had taken time the night before to pray for my car)?

Before it started working again, I was really struggling with doubts and worries and wondering what in the world I was going to do. After all, I am about to head off on a month long excursion that heavily involves the use of my car. It may be silly, but I would really prefer to have all the bugs worked out of my car before I take off! And let's be honest, I'm a missionary. I don't exactly have several hundred dollars sitting around to spend on my car. Its a little strange but I do like to eat occasionally!

However, on Thursday morning God brought a timely message to me. Every morning most of the staff (the married men and the singles) get together to share a time of devotions and prayer. That morning Kevin spoke on trusting God. He had been reading in Kings, where it talks about the widow who didn't have enough food to keep her and her son alive, let alone any extra people. Then Elisha comes waltzing in and tells her that she needs to make him some food too. Oh and give him his portion first please! I'm sure it was a huge step of faith for her to do that, but she listened to what God said to do. Because of her faith and trust they had enough food to live upon. It doesn't say that God overflowed their food, but they never ran out.

So my question was, could I trust God? Could I trust that He would provide for me with what I need? And obviously the answer is yes. I don't know how often He teaches me this lesson, but it's quite often. However, honestly I like lessons likes these. It shows me the reality of the God that I serve and the power that He has. Is my car fixed? I don't know! I just know that He has things under control and He's going to take care of me. Chances are I won't be driving a Lamborgini around anytime soon, but I can trust that He knows where I need to go and when.

Holiness

A couple weeks ago I read Isaiah 6 where it talks about Isaiah's encounter with God. It was such a holy sanctuary that the Seraphim covered their eyes and their feet and Isaiah knew automatically that he was not worthy of being in the presence of God. For God is Holiness.

How often do we forget that? I think that we often approach God as if He is just another guy. Just another friend to listen to our woes. But He's not "just" anything! He is all that is Good, True and Pure.

Are we? Not even close! In our American brand of Christianity God is just another part of our faith instead of being what our faith is built upon and dependent upon. Maybe our access to Him is too easy?

This is Life

The other night I was sitting in my chair, in my living room, looking around and was struck with the realization that this is my life. This is not what I thought 24 was going to look like, and that is ok!

When I was younger I loved to read L.M Montgomery and in her novels about Emily, her heroine wrote a letter to herself, from 12 to 24 (or some ages close to that). That made me think about what I would have written to myself, imagining myself doing.

I would have included something about the kids (obviously by 24 I would have been a mother several times over because I was destined to marry my high school sweetheart!). I am sure I also would have asked several questions about my amazing career. Lets see, when I was 12 I would have been in the 6th grade. I believe those were my Marine Biology years - I was going to spend my life devoted to Orca Whales. Besides being an amazing mother and getting all A's in college!

Instead, I am living in Ekalaka, Montana. Since I didn't even know this town existed until just over 2 years ago this wasn't my plan when I was 12. Also, I'm not quite sure where exactly my high school sweetheart went to high school, but it definitely wasn't Hillcrest! My job is not quite the same as living on an ocean, working with whales, but it is so much better. I could have spent my life working with animals that didn't know I existed, but instead, God in His Mercy, is allowing me to serve at a place where I get to have an impact on lives for eternity. What an overwhelming privilege!

So looking back, did I think about things like scrubbing down the toilet and doing never ending laundry? Did I imagine vacumming and sweeping and shoveling the sidewalk? Did I imagine having to fix the internet and pray that Satan would leave my technology alone? Did I imagine crying with people as they mourned the loss of a loved one? Did I imagine telling a mother that her daughter was not a pleasure to have in my cabin? Did I imagine crying myself to sleep some nights because of the overwhelmingness of life? Did I imagine living by myself? Well, no.

But I also didn't imagine working with AWANA and getting to know the sweetest kids in Ekalaka. I didn't imagine getting the privilege of getting to know 50 college students who came to Trail's End to serve God. I didn't imagine spending six weeks of my summer counseling girls and loving it! I didn't imagine getting the privilege of relying fully on God for my support and source of income and getting to see Him provide! I didn't imagine how He would use this time to strengthen my relationships with those that I love back home and to bring new ones in. I didn't imagine how much I have changed and been impacted by these glorious events that I could never have thought or dreamed up.

So yes, this is my life. Lucky lucky girl that I am!