this summer

hello all my adoring fans! i am so sorry that i have been quiet for so long, but i cannot even explain how fast this summer is going by! we are 6 weeks into our 10 week season (except my season is actually only 9 because of a wedding i am going home for the last week of camp).

so here we are, 6 weeks in. 2 weeks of staff training, 4 weeks of camp. and wow.

God has been doing amazing things this summer. we have had over 40 kids make decisions to trust Jesus as their Savior. we have had many who have felt the power of God in their lives. we have had many who come in hurting and walk away with that first step of healing.

we have also had those who knowingly walked away unsaved. we have had those who came in hurting and left hurting. we have had those who are leaving a safe haven and walking back in an area littered with landmines.

oh that we could fix everything! that we could make everything all better. but, we can't. we can do what we can do with what God gives us. we can be faithful to share His news and His love and His power with these kids. the rest is up to God and them.

a day in the life of a secretary ...

I start my day off by working hard:

very hard.

After awhile, I take a break and enjoy hanging out with other staff members.
We throw dance parties.
Except not really.
Because there is no dancing at TER.
It's simply not done.
But there is plenty of jumping!!

Then I use my chance to sell important products to my captive audience.
The campers are a great resource of money.
Except not really.
Cause they're little and the point is to not exploit them.
But we still try to sell them some Satan-B-Gone.
Because you never know when you're going to be in need of it!
Cause he's sneaky!

It's a tough life being a camp secretary, but I assure you, someone has to do it!

my choice

today, i made a choice. i made a choice to be cranky, crabby and just generally snarky.

you know its bad when a generally good-natured, roll with whatever you say kinda friend says "wow, you're just so sarcastic!" and that was before i made the choice to be ms cranky-pants!

i don't know if it was the storm that came in? or the fact that i was tired? or perhaps *ahem* pmsy? too much sugar? overthinking some things?

well, whatever it was, i didn't like who i was part of the day.

i listened to the words coming out of my mouth and heard the tone i was using and winced. but, i didn't stop. i didn't do a turn about face and use kind words with a cheerful tone.

i indulged in my selfishness. i let things get to me. i ate too much sugar. i let jealousy come over me. i let stupid things get to me. i let my pride get in the way of my ministry.

and so, now i sit at home, thinking back over today and not liking what happened.

good thing we serve a God whose mercies are new every morning eh?

thoughts tumbling through the trails taken

i just got home from camp. it's 1:35 and waaaay past my bedtime. in fact, i was exhausted at 9:30 and almost left then. but, i was working on writing a letter and wanted to spend more time bonding with the staff (we're finishing up our first of two weeks of staff training) and so i hung around.

we discussed our plans for a movie night at my place tomorrow and told different stories. we laughed and we bonded. we threw flirtatious glances at the cute boy across the table and we hugged our girlfriends. we helped pull pranks on others.

then, when it was just down to two of us, a girl came and got us. another one of our fellow staff was hurting. hurting badly. and needed to talk. so, we listened. we listened while she told of her past and of the realizations that are coming to her. we listened while she cried and listened while she thought about the future.

and we were useless. how do you take 19 years of pain and hurt and agony and fix it in an hour? its impossible. we do not have the wisdom, the knowledge, the power to take that information and turn it to good. so, instead, we just sat there, in the dark, listening.

my thoughts were prayers. prayers for the words. prayers for the answer. prayers for the healing. for her. for me. for him. for all of us.

and? and i felt nothing. nothing. i had nothing. this was nothing i could fix. i was the "voice of reason" as the oldest there and i had no reason to give. the most i could do was pray over her and send her to bed. make her go to bed.

but it isn't me. there is absolutely no way i could ever fix anything through me. nor could the others there. that is up to God. and so, thats where we started. we started the process through the power of prayer. because there is nothing stronger.

but what comes next? what happens with her? or with the girl sitting next to her? and the other hurting people that God has brought to our ministry? what happens when it doesn't end neatly and tie up into a nice bow? what happens when its messy and we can't just check it off the list?

what now?

this is what life in montana looks like

beautiful cowgirls

cowboys on bucking horses

tools of the trade

calves meeting their destiny

working as a team

putting our brand out there for all the world to see

soaking it all in, enjoying it to the fullest!

my weekend ...

Friday





















Saturday


















Sunday

Sometimes, I love having mutiple personalities.

Do I?

I am standing on a precipice. Toes on the edge, arms stretched out for balance.

Right behind me is the comfortable meadow where I have spent my days. Sure, there are some cacti and there are some scrub brush. But the sun is shining down and there are flowers that smell divine. The grass is green and lush.

However, in the distance storm clouds are gathering. They are increasing in strength and intimidation. I can stay in my meadow and all will be the same for awhile. But what will happen once the storm hits?

Below me is a gaping ravine. What is down there I have no idea. It could be a flowing river or raging rapids. It could be all rock or a soft landing. All I know is that I have a parachute and I can jump if I want.

Do I? Do I want to jump?