Will Bennett: What's In A Name

When it came time to name our baby, we took our sweet time. Apparently naming our children is not our strong suit, as we ran into the same situation with Drew.

As soon as we found out it was a boy at our 20 week ultrasound, we got serious about picking a name. However, we could not come to consensus. 

So, when a friend offered help on FB for naming kiddos, I jumped at the chance:

(sorry about my inelegant name covering up, but oh well. privacy for the win!)

She brought up a name choice that we hadn't thought about before. William has never been a favorite of mine, but I really liked the nickname possibilities, especially Liam. I also really liked the idea of tying it into my family, because Drew ties into Luke's side.

(for those of you who might have problems following the thread, my dad's name is Willard and my grandpa's name was Willie)

So, I kept bringing up Liam as a possiblity, but Luke was never sold on it. And I was never totally sold on Will. So, we kept throwing names out there and shooting them down. And on. And on. Ad nauseum.

And then, we had the baby. And after a couple of days, people typically like you to name your child. So, we got down to work and talked and talked and talked some more.

I had come across Bennett on one of my searches and it grew on me.I also liked that it meant 'blessed'. But, I didn't really want it to be shortened to Ben. 

So, we came back to Will. And I once again really liked how it tied into my family. And that it meant 'strong protector'. And to be honest, I liked how it was like Drew - short for a longer name and only 1 syllable.

Obviously, in the end, Will Bennett was the winner. Our blessed strong protector. 

But, man, naming children is hard work!!

Failure To Thrive :: An Update

The last update I posted about Drew's struggle to gain weight mentioned that we were going to take him to one last specialist, the pediatric endocrinologist.

Well, we took him. And, like we expected, we did not really learn much. In fact, the doctor did not run any tests. From his viewpoint, all the pertinent tests had been run, and any that he could add to the mix would be more hassle than they were worth because of how intense they were. 

Basically, all he could tell us was that he did not feel Drew's problem was a result of an endocrinological problem. He did not have any of the typical signs of a kiddo who was lacking in Human Growth Hormone, and his thyroid was normal on all of his blood tests. He did throw out the possibility that his structural growth (bones and teeth) were simply 6 months behind where they should be. After Drew turns 2, we can have an x-ray done of his hand and that could tell us more definitively if that is the issue or not.

So, we took him home and decided to be all done with specialists. They weren't telling us anything our family doctor wasn't telling us, and it wasn't worth driving all the way to the city for a 15 minute appointment where we were told to keep on doing what we were doing and to come back in 2 months for the same advice.

Then, Drew got sick. And was sick for basically most of December. He cycled through a cold, the stomach flu, roseola and an ear infection.

Not only that, but he was throwing up. Majorly throwing up. I tracked it for a couple of weeks, and it was intense. I could barely keep up with his laundry. One of his sheets was almost always in the wash, along with a lovey (getting 2 loveys was one of the best decisions we have ever made!!). 

It felt like we were at the doctor's constantly. Between the throwing up and his other sickness, he started to lose weight. And that was slightly concerning. There was talk of sending us to Omaha to the Children's Hospital because of his condition.

It was a really stressful couple of weeks. We had a newborn, I was still recovering from a c-section, and our poor little kiddo was so sick. At one point, he ran such a high fever and felt so junky that he spent a couple of days basically just sleeping. He would get up from his nap and come out to the living room to fall asleep on my lap on the couch. Very unlike him!

However, we were finally able to get him on antibiotics, and we took him off of dairy to give his system a chance to reset. For a month he drank soy and almond milk, and went light on other dairy offerings. And it worked. He quit throwing up, he started to gain weight (we finally broke the 20 lb mark!!), and got his energy back. We slowly reintroduced dairy into his diet, and it's been going really well. He had one instance of throwing up last weekend, but besides that, he hasn't thrown up since before Christmas. 

His turn around was so great that our doctor went from talking about Omaha Children's to telling us that we didn't need to come back to see him for 2 months. So lovely.

So, things have settled down. Drew is eating a lot better than he ever has, he still has a ton of energy, and he is astounding us every day with his developing mind. Our doctor is going to keep a slightly closer eye on him than some of his other patients, but we're praying that we're over the hump. He might just follow his own growth curve instead of the growth curve 'they' say he should. As long as he's growing, we'll be happy!

Book Review :: Song of the Brokenhearted

Ava has a loving family, a beautiful house, and a solid faith.

Suddenly, her ideal life will be completely broken . . . in the best of ways.

Ava’s life is full of great things. Her daughter is getting married to just the right guy, her husband’s company has kept them financially thriving for years, her son is a freshman in high school, playing football and doing well, and the ministry she started is keeping her busy as she reaches out to those with “broken hearts.”

Then it all falls apart. Ava’s safe world becomes unanchored, and she is forced to face the childhood she’s run away from her entire life. Just as she’s trying to sift through the pieces, the doorbell rings and Ava is confronted with the surprise of her life.

Ava must set out on a journey that takes her back home—something Ava hasn’t done in twenty years. As she travels across the state of Texas, strangers offer her kindness and remind her of the meaning of hope and forgiveness.

It is in this journey back that Ava discovers God in a new way. She sees she's been hiding her brokenness behind good deeds and a safe life. Learning what it means to lose it all is just the start of Ava’s journey – as is the new song God is writing on her heart.

When I was scrolling through Booksneeze looking for a new book to review, this one jumped out at me. First of all, because of the beautiful artwork (what? of COURSE I judge a book by it's cover.). But, after hearing Sheila Walsh speak at Women of Faith last year, I was also really excited to read something she had written, because that woman is a storyteller.

The book did not disappoint. I like how Ava's family was human. It wasn't just people around her that were struggling, but she was struggling. She couldn't juggle it all, she let things slip through her fingers, and she was real. The authors also weren't afraid to show her failings and weaknesses. I saw myself so much in her, longing for a comfortable life, not wanting my life to make waves. If everything would fall into place, then life would be good right?

Of course, life does not work that way, and it really is for the best. No matter how hard that lesson is.

The characters that Walsh and Coloma created to bounce off of Ava were all so interesting. They were able to make them real, and a lot of them popped right off the page and into my living room. There are a lot of hurting people in this world, and these characters told just a couple of those stories. The one that I felt the most for, and who pushed against me the most, was the typical church lady who was always in the background of Ava's life, 'praying' for her, and taking upon herself the job of the Holy Spirit. It is easy to fall into that role, and it was a good reminder for me to put down my judging pen and pick up my grace-filled pen.

There was some weakness in how neatly the end of the story pulls together, but overall I found this book to be a really enjoyable read. Redemption is always a beautiful theme.

I would give it 3 1/2 stars.

*this book was provided for me to review by Booksneeze. the opinions are all my own*

Will Bennett:: A Birth Story

For those of you who only know me through my blog, have I got a surprise for you! You see, 3 months ago, we went ahead and had ourselves another baby.

Meet Will Bennett:

(taken when he was 1 day old)

To go all the way back to his beginning, we must step back in time to last January. 

I had decided to lose my baby weight, once and for all, so I started to work out. About 3 weeks into the process, I became EXHAUSTED.

I was so tired, that it was about all I could to drag myself out to the couch in the morning so D could play with toys. I spent much of my time laying around, getting up only when necessary to change D's diaper or feed him. I couldn't understand what was going on, but figured it was just a combination of having a baby who woke up all  night long and my winter blues.

Finally, on Valentine's Day, when I couldn't summon up the energy to go on a date with my husband like we'd planned, Luke made me take a pregnancy test. I grumbled the whole time, because OF COURSE I wasn't pregnant.

Well, joke was on me, because, well, as you can see, there was indeed a baby in there!

My pregnancy was like Drew's in that I was very sick the first trimester (but this time I had a doctor, so I was able to get on medicine. it didn't make the nauseousness go away, but I was able to at least take care of D), very tired the whole time and didn't really care to be touched much. I was still nursing D when I got pregnant, and it was incredibly painful, even before I knew I was preggo. As time went on, my supply continued to drop and drop, until I finally weaned him at 13 months and my body didn't need to really adjust at all. 

However, over all I handled this pregnancy better. I was calmer, and did not have as many anxiety attacks. I knew what I was going through was worth it, which helped so much! I also didn't gain quite as much weight and my blood pressure stayed where it was supposed to, so no pre-eclampsia.

When the time came for our 20 week ultrasound, we were pretty sure it was a girl. We had even picked out a name and called the baby by that name for about a week beforehand. Well ... as you can tell, we were slightly off! However, it did not bother us at all that we were having another boy. We were so excited that Drew was getting a little brother so close in age.

So, I made it through the looooooooooooooooooooong hot summer (not always gracefully or graciously, but we all survived), and it was getting closer to our due date. Except, also like Drew, we had a bunch of due dates. LMP told us Oct 7, first ultrasound said Oct 25, and second ultrasound said Oct 19. So, basically we knew he was coming sometime in October, and we also knew that it would be bad if I went into active labor since it was too close to my c-section with D. The other kicker was that my doctor was going to a week long conference the week right before my due date (we have very bad timing with our kiddos and our doctor's travel plans. he had to put off his vacation by a day when Drew was born. we've agreed to plan a little better next time ;-)).

On Wednesday, October 10, we had supper at our friends' house, and while I was sitting at the table my stomach got really tight. It didn't really hurt per say, but I could definitely feel it. I didn't have anything like that with D, so it was a bit of a surprise. We went on with our night, and nothing like that happened again.

Then, the next morning I was talking on the phone to my friend Karla, and it happened again. We talked about whether or not it was contractions or Braxten Hicks, and she thought probably Braxten Hicks. After I got done talking to her, I texted Bethany and asked her if she had had BH with her kiddo. She said if I put my feet up and drank lots of water, they would most likely go away. So, that's what I did. Except, they didn't go away. They were never painful, but they were strong enough and often enough that I was definitely taking note.

Luke got home at 3:00, and we talked about what was happening. We agreed they were often enough and close enough together that we should at least call in. Our doctor told us to come in for a non-stress test, so we dropped D off with Grandpa (forgetting to give him diapers, a sippy cup or anything else he might need ... whoops!), and headed to town. I got hooked up, and while we saw some spikes for awhile, they mostly went away. However, our doctor is pretty cautious, so I ended up with an overnight stay to be monitored and hydrated in hopes it would cause the contractions to stop.

In the morning, another mama to be came in who was actually in labor. So, I got kicked out of our one labor room and sent to the (really nice) hospital room they save for new parents, so that I would have a claim on it if we did go in for a c-section (I LOVE LOVE LOVE the nurses at our clinic/hospital - they take such good care of us and think of things like that!). Eventually, my mother-in-law and Drew came to pick me, since the doctor wanted me to go home and see if bedrest would stop things.

Since I have some of the most wonderful in-laws a person could ask for, my MIL came home with me to take care of Drew. It was a little weird to just sit on the couch when I felt fine (I was on pretty strict limits - I could only get up to go to the bathroom and wasn't really allowed to eat much), but it gave me time to think about the contractions. And they didn't go away. I was texting with Luke on his lunch break, and we decided to pray that if it was time, God would make it really clear. I got one of my strongest contractions right then, so we took it as a sign to prepare for baby!

I called back in at 3:00, and our doctor agreed that we should just go ahead and have our c-section that night (it was Friday October 12 at this point). Since I figured it would be ok if I got up now that we knew we were having a baby, I showered and packed my bag (I had used my time on the couch to put together a list, which helped a lot!). I also packed up some clothes and whatnot for D to take to my in-laws, where he would be camping out while we were in the hospital.

Luke raced home from work, we took a couple of pictures for the last time as a family of 3, and headed to the hospital.

Well, it turns out that the mama who came in that morning was still working on having her babe, and since our doctor was also her doctor, we had to wait around a bit. But, it was finally time, and I was taken to the OR. And, at 7:37 this little cutie was born:

He was 8lbs 8oz and 20 inches long, scored perfectly on his Apgars and had no problems. We had gone into it thinking he might be a little early and with the knowledge that we might have to deal with a NICU situation, but obviously that wasn't anything we had to worry about! 

After I was stapled back together, they took me back to the recovery room, which is where we were when we started to text and call people to let them know baby had come (only our immediate families knew something was going on - so even my friends who I had talked to about Braxten Hicks were surprised!). It was also there that we found out that the hospital was on lockdown. Apparently, one of the patients was dealing with an unwanted guest. As a result, the hospital was on lockdown at night the whole weekend (when Drew was born, we had to go sit in a hallway with all the other  patients because of a tornado warning ... so apparently our presence is a sign of exciting times at the hospital!).

The rest of our time in the hospital was pretty normal: staring at our baby, telling people, trying to figure out a name, dealing with my pain, nursing, etc, etc, etc). My in-laws brought Drew to meet his brother on Saturday night. He was mostly interested in exploring, but didn't seem to mind the baby that got in his way of sitting by me!

After we got home, we were blessed to have tons of help. Since I had had a c-section, I wasn't able to lift Drew for 6 weeks (that's a loooong time!). Luke's mom came over to help the first morning, and then my mom came for the rest of the week. It was SO nice to have her here!

After my mom left, we had a weekend of Vander Ley family activity, and then my sister-in-law Julie came to help. She stayed for that next week, which was also AMAZING!

After all my family left, my MIL was so good to come over and help me as needed. It was rare to have a day where she didn't come over for at least a while. It was SO nice!! We are incredibly blessed by such loving family!

And, so here we are. 3 months later, one little boy more in our family, and as happy as can be!

Failure To Thrive:: Another Update

We are now over 5 months into our journey of having a child who was diagnosed as Failure To Thrive (for those of you who don't know, Failure to Thrive simply means that they are not thriving at the level that they should be, according to the averages, charts, etc.).

5 months of pushing Pediasure, trying our hardest to make him eat, going to doctors appointments, and spending time worrying.

So far, nothing has helped.

In July we took him to Sioux Falls to see a Pediatric Gastrointestinal doctor. While we were there, the doctor called in his colleague, who was a Pediatric Cardiologist to consult. Which meant that Drew was put through hours of tests. He had his blood drawn (during that procedure, both he and I were sobbing, and he got so mad that he blew out his vein, so they weren't able to get all the blood they needed. I refused to let them poke him again). He had an EKG and an echo-cardiogram (thank goodness for Baby Einstein Old McDonald, as he loved seeing the animals so he was distracted enough not to cry/move around/fight them during the whole procedure). He had an upper GI test (thank goodness for Grandmas as I wasn't allowed to be with him because it was an x-ray and I was pregnant. but, he still fought them, and it took at least 4 nurses to hold him down).

He was so mad, that he cried the whole way out of the clinic, and only calmed down once I stripped him and let him play in the water fountain:

At the end of the day, the only answer we got was that he had a mild case of acid reflux. Well then. That was a lot of drama for not a lot of news.

However, I will say that I was grateful that his heart tests all came back normal. In fact, the cardiologist told us he never wanted to see us again. Done and done.

The GI did choose to put him on a low dose of Prilosec to see if that helped (it hasn't). Besides that, they were pretty much flummoxed.

So, we go along with our life. Trying to get him to eat (he doesn't). Feeding him Pediasure. Enjoying him. 

Today we take him to see the Pediatric Endocrinologist. Maybe he will have the answer?

I'm not holding my breath.

Book Review:: The Baker's Wife

If what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, why is Audrey growing weaker by the day?

When her husband Geoff, a pastor, lost his job after a scandal rocked their congregation, Audrey's never lost faith.

They decide to resurrect a failing bakery as a way to heal family wounds and restore their place in the community.

Running late to the bakery one foggy morning, Audrey strikes a vehicle. Emerging from her car into the fog, she discovers she hit a motor scooter. But there’s no rider in sight. Just blood.

The absence of the driver is a mystery, especially to Sergeant Jack Mansfield, the detective and church member responsible for firing Geoff from his pulpit. The scooter belongs to Jack’s wife, Julie, a teacher at the local high school, who has vanished…like morning fog.

Though there is no evidence to support Jack’s growing suspicion that Audrey and Geoff were involved in Julie’s disappearance, the detective is convinced of their guilt. When he takes the tiny bakery and its patron’s hostage, Audrey must unravel the secret of Julie’s disappearance and her own mysterious suffering before Jack hits his breaking point.

This book is one of mystery, intrigue and catching your breath because you're not really sure what's going to happen next. It's watching layers of people all fold together, and getting mad at the bad guy, because he is being such a good bad guy!

This story kept my interest, and I enjoyed both times that I read it.

I also appreciated Healy delving into circumstances that might not always get attention in the mainstream church - namely, can God use physical manifestations of pain to help us reach out to people who are the ones experiencing the 'true' pain? It's an interesting concept, and a thought worth delving into.

It is my belief and experience that God can't be put in a box. I think he uses people, circumstances, dreams, and sometimes pain to bring truth into our lives. 

The experiences that Audrey go through is unique, and something I really appreciated about the book. I also appreciated the side story of Diane, and the mystery that shrouded her sad self. 

Also, Jack was a fascinating character. His conviction that his way was THE way was admirable, if completely off base. He did a lot of harm through his belief system, and it was hard to sympathize with him. But, when we step back and look at him, are we really so different? Don't we at times railroad over people in the name of our Truth? (don't get me wrong - I'm not saying there isn't Truth. I just think sometimes we major on the minors and minor on the majors. and sometimes there are casualties we leave behind). 

Overall, I would rate this book a 3.5. Definitely one I will read again, but not one that I love to pieces and will rave about forever. 

*Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for my honest review from BookSneeze*

Book Review:: Break-Through:When To Give In, How To Push Back

Break-Through: When To Give In, How To Push Back. The Moment That Changes Everything 

by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle

"Well, I guess he does have a good side."... "You know, it's probably my own fault." ... "I need to cut him some slack, because he's had a rough life." It's easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive relationships - caving in to a spouse's addictions and consequent abuses, ignoring a live-at-home son's inconsiderate behavior, or putting up with a supervisor's manipulation or even harassment. We excuse them again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting respectful boundaries. Break-Through has a self-test to help readers get back in control and is filled with useful tools to help them make big changes in their life. This important book will show readers when to give in, but also when to push back for a happier, more stable life.

I have to admit that over all I am a fiction/memoir girl. But, there are times that my psychology nerd side comes to the forefront, and I want to pick up something with a little meat to it.

Well, this book definitely had meat. So much meat in fact, that it took me several months to get through it. I simply couldn't sit down and finish it all at once. But, I think overall, that is a good thing. After all, it means that I had a lot to think about.

And having something to think about while reading a book? I would say that's a good sign.

Clinton and Springle do an excellent job of probing into different reasons people stay in difficult relationships. While the book's topic is more about co-dependency than I was expecting, there was some excellent advice for dealing with people types we all encounter, even if it isn't in an intimate relationship. We all know people who tend to be a little more enmeshed than is healthy, or who push themselves forward so that they are dominating the conversation/relationship/situation to cover up their insecurity. This book delves into the reasons behind their actions, and gives some practical tips for dealing with the frustrations.

Not only that, but every once in awhile the authors would pull out these zingers that made me break out the highlighter and turn down the page corner. That's a good sign friends!

For example:

"We wear very different clothes, drive cars, hold jobs, and have children of our own, but emotionally, we're like the scared kid in the hall who is unsure that anyone will be his friend" (pg 74). {that is truth!}

"God sets us free, but not adrift into confusion and isolation. He frees us from the prison of sin and shame so that we can genuinely know him, delight in him, and find more meaning than we ever imagined. When we begin to grasp this truth, it thrills our heart. This new affection begins to crowd out the fear and arrogance that has dominated us for so long" (pg 103)

Perhaps you, or someone you love, is dealing with a situation involving co-dependency. Perhaps you just would like more information about living in this world with difficult people. Or perhaps you're a bit of a psychology nerd like me (and my mom. apple doesn't fall far from the tree people!). If any of those are you, I would definitely recommend this book! It's not the end-all, be-all, but then again, what book is? It will give you stuff to think about, topics to delve into further, and really, what more can you ask of a book?

*Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for my honest review from Handlebar Marketing. All opinions contained within are mine, and mine alone.*