Ya'll came to my blog today to see my smiling face right? RIGHT?

Well, why else would you come?

So to oblige, here are some pictures from the past few weeks.

(Oh and the ya'll comes from me reading a highly entertaining blog from down south. However, I can't lie to you. I have started to throw it into the mix of my own vocabulary. Slowly. Just a few here and there. And it's not from reading her blog either. Its just something that feels normal. I like to build things up naturally so it's not a huge shock. Obviously. Cause I'm just like that. I mean I started mentioning moving to Montana a loooong time before I did ... err .... does 3 weeks count?)

Picture #1 of my smiling, face ::

Whoops! Well .... it is of my face! That counts right? Plus it's not just my face. You can also see the faces of some of the fabulous Christian people that I share my town with.

Picture #2 ::
See, smiles all around! This my friend who teaches at a country school close to where I go to church. Yes, a country school. As in, 1 room, 3 kids of varying grades, and in the middle of nowhere. My hero! We were at THE annual event for Christians to be at. Imagine us all getting together and eating food and listening to singing. And guess what! I was part of the singing. No really. I was. STOP IT! I can hear ya'll from here! It wasn't a solo or anything. Just a group song. And I sang softly. So there!

Picture #3 ::
I have this habit of taking pictures of myself. Almost everywhere I go. Mostly it's for one of two reasons ::
#1. I travel alone a lot. Therefore, there is no one to take a picture of me in a cool place. And that's just sad! So my skills as a self photographer have much improved!
#2. I get bored and antsy very easily. Especially in group settings where I don't have a role. It is just a hard situation for me so I must entertain myself. Especially when I am not involved in a conversation. So I take lots and lots of pictures of myself. To the amusement of those around me. Hey. I just like giving people something to talk about!

Anyways. This picture was taken at our staff Christmas party last week. It is one of three variations. I chose this one for several reasons. None of which are important, so I'll just move along.

Picture #4 ::
This isn't of me. (Did I ever mention that people around here call me Captain Obvious? Still a little fuzzy on that one ... ) This is one of my good friends, with whom I spend lots and lots of time. He was anxiously waiting for his turn in the gift exchange.

Picture #5::
Here is my other good friend with whom I spent lots and lots of time. I say spent because he is leaving us today. Something about family obligations and the Army sending him overseas. To which I say whatever! Well, actually I don't. Cause it's cool that he is willing to serve. And I am honored to be a friend to a serviceman. But he's still going to be missed! There is just going to be something weird about having only two of us. Sad.

I would like you to compare his picture with the one of our other friend. Cause he had already taken part in the gift exchange and received what he had been wanting for awhile. As in a long time. And so he was content. Content enough to ignore everything else that was happening around him and take a nap. Apparently he didn't want to share in our joy!

Picture #6::
These two darling, funny, Southern (there's that ya'll again!) packed up a U-Haul and left us to go back to the warmth. Coincidentally enough they left right when it got below zero. Coincidence ... right? They will be missed!

Picture #7 ::
Those two guys in the back are part of the coaching staff at our local high school. Which means they get volunteered for stuff. Like playing in charity volleyball games. So, we made them signs and went and cheered them on. Loudly. It was glorious! (oh and it's cause I work with them that I did this. just sayin'!)

Picture #8 ::
Now, for this, you need some explanation. Let's be honest. Ya'll(that's #3 and I think my quota has been reached!) are looking at this and thinking "hmmmm .... that's a lot of snow blocks ya got there." And the response to that is "yup!".

Now for the story. So, on Sunday morning I go to let my precious puppy outside at approximately 5:45. Now, thats sleeping in for her, so I was ecstatic! Anyways. I look out my door before I unlock it and I see this guy staring at my fence. AND THEN - I see another guy join him. Now, I know I live in small town and all that, but that's just creepy!! So I stare for awhile longer and I realize that I do indeed know them. WHEW!

Remember the guy taking a nap while wearing a Santa hat? Well, he had a brilliant idea involving my fence and lots of snow blocks. And he wanted it to be a surprise. I was supposed to go out of town last weekend but because of the storm decided to stay home, cuddled up in blankets, reading books and watching movies. That threw his plan off and so he had to do it in the middle of the night. Apparently they got to my house around 2 AM and worked until I caught them at 6. It was a mere -20 outside, so why not right?

a picture is worth .....

This picture was taken at approximately 4:53 AM Thursday, November 28.

There are several things of note about this picture:

1. It was very early to be taking pictures of Rachel

2. There are other people in the picture, which means I was in civilization.(see them? right there! no, not there. over there!! don't you see them?? really they are there!!)

3.We left at the lovely hour of 2:10 AM to be where we were when we were photographed.

4. Apparently I am a morning person. A very bright, gregarious, cheerful (insert obnoxious) morning person. Especially on two hours of sleep. I'm a joy to be around!

5.Also, apparently the people that I choose to go shopping with at o'dark thirty are not as much of morning people as I am. As evidenced by the "I will smile and give thumbs up with you, but only to placate you and really I just want to be sleeping or drinking a HUGE cup of coffee" smile my friend has going on.

6.I would just like to take the opportunity to point out that this trip was not my idea, I was just tagging along. Oh, and also that I did not have any caffeine. Nope. Not one sip of coffee, pop, cappuccino, chocolate or anything else that carries that deadly substance. This is all natural baby!

Identity Crisis

Once again I am stuck. Do I want to do this? Do I want to follow through on what I have started?

No, I am not talking about leaving my job. While I definitely do have those days (there is that honesty thing!), right now is not one of them. This fall I struggled with moving on from Trail's End for awhile, but one day God just got me over it. And since then, I am content. Whenever God takes me somewhere else I will go. Until then, well, here I stay.

But I digress. Back to the original point of this post. School. Specifically do I continue the course that I have set for myself (and that I felt God leading me on?). This fall I signed up to finish my Bachelor's Degree (I have my A.A. in Liberal Arts - which means "generals") and started taking my first class. However, I am not sold on my degree choice. At all.

This fall I have been doing as much thinking as time allows and I have decided that I really am more of a people person. Which is not exactly a shocking revelation coming from a secretary. But right now I am working on a degree in Business. Yes, I know business deals with people. Yes, I know business is practical. Yes, I know that one of the reasons that I followed this was to have a degree that would be flexible.

But, shouldn't I enjoy some part of school? Shouldn't I be understanding more of what I am learning and why it is important? Since I am going back to school after time off, shouldn't I be more excited? Shouldn't I not hate it with almost every fiber of my being? Shouldn't I be following a course that doesn't make me a constant whiner?

Or should I just grow up? Should I just realize that college is hard and it is stretching me for a reason?

The other thing that I am struggling with is finances. I really really really REALLY wanted to do these two years without student loans. (oh and by two years, I meant eight. apparently, at the rate I am working through my classes, I will finish my B.S. in 2016. now that's something to look forward to!!) But that is not possible. So, what do I do? Find a cheaper school? Perhaps consider that God is calling me into traditional school where I would be eligible for more financial aid and scholarship? But, that would involve leaving Trail's End.

Oh, I don't know what to do!! My first class ends in a couple of weeks, but the good news is that my next class wouldn't start until January. So I have a couple of weeks to make a decisions.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!

I am a huge blog addict. My Google Reader is filled with subscription after subscription - many of people I don't know. I love the willingness of people to be real, to be vulnerable, to let others in.

A lesson I myself perhaps need to learn.

My trip to here, there and a little bit of everywhere!

On the morning of October 10th I packed up and headed home (to Minnesota) for a bit of a sabbatical. About 3 1/2 weeks worth. It was a time of sharing, seeing people, rejuvenation, traveling and exhaustion.

I started out by speaking on Sunday the12th at the Naz in Fergus Falls. It was good to be back!

The next day(Monday) Mom and I took off and flew to Colorado. The main reason I came home when I did was so that we could celebrate mom's birthday. So, to make it special, we headed off to see my oldest big brother and family in Colorado.

On Tuesday we went to Colorado Springs and played tourist.(the kids stayed with their other grandma). We went to Garden of the Gods, the top of Pikes Peak and toured Focus on the Family. We ended with a delicious supper at Sonic.

(Can I even tell you how much I love their Cherry Limeades? They are AMAZING. Mind-blowing really.)

(the four of us at the Garden of the Gods)

(me and the birthday girl!)

Mom had to leave on Wednesday but I was able to stay until Friday. It was a time of chilling out and relaxing with the fam. We played the Wii, went shopping, watched cartoons and played a lot of Uno Spin. Before I headed home, Julie and the kids and I went to the park and got some shots of Aunt Rachel with her favoritist niece and nephew.

(Aunt Rachel, Nephew Joshua and Niece Sarah)

The next Sunday I shared my ministry at Good Shepherd, which is the church I grew up in. Every time I come home I love this church more and more. It is so comforting to come home!

Right after church I headed down to the Twin Cities for a recruiting/seeing as many people as I possibly could trip. I started out with hanging out with these guys:

(Phil and Travis love Lamposts!)

(the city view from the Witch's Hat)

The next morning I did my first ever recruiting for Trail's End. I went to AFLBS and did a lot of sitting. There was some interest, which is always encouraging. Even if we get one more staff member it's worth it!

From Plymouth I headed down to Mankato to see my Michelle. I hadn't seen her since her wedding in December so it was great to catch up! We had an old-fashioned sleepover and it was a lot of fun!

The next morning she headed to class and I head back to the Twin Cities. I met my friend Phil for breakfast at IHOP and then we wandered around the Mall of America for awhile. We soon found our favorite place in the WHOLE WORLD : Legoland!

(Phil and Rachel at Legoland)

Then I headed over to my friend Lisa's. It had been Christmas since I had seen her and her adorable family and we had a lot of fun playing Scrabble, going thrift store shopping, watching a movie, and playing with her little boy. Sadly, this was a pictureless visit.

After spending the night with her and enjoying breakfast bagels with her and her father, I went over to Roseville and had coffee with my friend Dan. From there I camped out at coffee shops and did some homework before meeting up with my dear Lindsay. We had a yummy supper at Chipotle (it's a good thing I don't live near one - I would be there WAY too much!) and then I did more homework while she led a Bible Study. The night was finished by watching Step Up and chatting the night away.

My trip to the Cities finished with breakfast with my childhood friend Schyler and then more homework! After taking advantage of free Wi-Fi and lots of coffee I headed back to Fergus and life there.

That weekend was Crony Weekend. I adore these three girls and so enjoy our time we spend together. With jobs, living in Montana, husbands, boyfriends and children (the first two apply to me ... the last three are more their scene) we don't get a chance to have the typical girl's weekend like we used to do in high school. But we were able to work it out for the most part and were able to spend the majority of the whole weekend together. It was glorious!!

Friday night was traditional junk food, movies, talking, and giggling. Saturday there was some shopping, more eating, more hanging out and then an adventure for three of us. In high school we stumbled upon a sign that pointed us in the direction of Doran. It took us two tries, but we finally succeeded. Since then, for nostalgias sake, we head back that way now and then. Oddly enough, this is the first time we have taken any pictures!

(Rachel, Bethany and Karla in Doran)

After we got back to Fergus (via the looooong way around and some detours), we did some person changes and settled down for another movie. This time Karla's boyfriend joined us and we conned him into doing a photo shoot. Sadly enough we didn't get one of all four of us.

(Karla, Rondi and Rachel)

The next morning I shared the ministry of Trail's End at Woodland Baptist. It was the first time I had been to that church and really enjoyed the friendliness of the people.

That week was a week of seeing people. I was able to connect with almost everyone I wanted to see and it was so good to see who I got to see!!

One night I met up with these three girls:

(Ashley, Tia and Rachel)

These girls were my childhood best friends and we had a blast catching up! We commandeered a table at Applebees for 4 1/2 hours and spent a lot of time laughing. I'm excited to come home again in January for Ashley's wedding!

My last big trip was that weekend. Through recruiting, deputizing and seeing friends, I was able to see a lot of Northern Minnesota I had never seen before. It's so gorgeous up there!

I started out my time in Bemidji at Oak Hills Christian college. There was one guy who was very interested and even started to fill out his application. Hopefully I will see that come across my desk soon!!

From Bemidji I headed west to Fosston. My friend Nickie recently moved up there and I loved the chance to spend time with her! It was so fun! We did what all normal 24 yr olds do on Halloween - went trick or treating. Ok, maybe not all normal ones. Or even most of them. But we were all dressed up and had no place to go and I had never been. So we scored some sweet candy and got some great exercise!

(The Tooth Fairy and The Pirate)

(Rachel and Nickie)

After turning back into normal people we curled up with some movies and junk food. What a great night! The next morning we headed over to the Fosston craft show and scored some sweet stuff. We had a great afternoon of hanging out and talking.

From there I headed up the road to International Falls. I met up with two couples I met through camp(they come out for our 50 mile trail ride every fall) and had supper. It was a lot of fun to catch up with them and hear about their news. One of them is the author of the 2009 American Girl series, which I find very cool. Those were some of my favorite books when I was young!

After staying with one of the couples, I headed back down the road and spoke at my last church of the group, Little Fork Baptist. One of my friends from Montana is the one who connected me with this church and I was glad she did! I had a great time sharing the ministry of Trail's End at the youth Sunday school and again in church.

Once the potluck was over, I packed up and got back into my faithful traveling companion, Walter (mom's car). The road was beckoning and we were ready! We had an engagement back in Fergus and were not willing to let it slide! That night Good Shepherd was hosting "A Day Around the World", where they were focusing on different mission activities. I was honored to be asked to represent the US. It was a lot of fun to see everyone's display and learn more about the different ministries and eat yummy food!

That just left one last day in Fergus Falls before packing up Petunia (Elisha's car) and heading back to Montana on Tuesday. We had a nice trip back, taking some time to do some shopping in Bismarck and Dickinson, before getting back in time for me to vote.

Since then, I have been settling back into life in Montana and enjoyed catching up with everyone.

Shadows

(shadow of myself)

One day I will no longer be a shadow of myself. One day God will make me into a whole person and my potential as His will be realized.

What does that look like? Who will I be? I have to honest and say that I have no idea. Who am I to tell God who I should be? I am on a journey to realize who He has me to be now.

But the future? That is up to Him. And I am happy with it being that way.

The adventure of life is found in the journey, not in the end result. And so I am happy letting God direct the path of my adventure, adding some detail here, some detail there. Part of me might be in shadow, but another part of me is illuminated.

Slowly His light moves across the scope of who I am. Slowly, slowly, He brings me into focus. And it all makes sense. The true version of me emerges and the shadowy me melts away.

What a day that will be!

Grateful Friday

My list of thankfulness today:

*the sound of my puppy snoring on the couch

* a great song that makes my homework easier to bear

*the fact that I can do my homework and learn once again

*great conversations with dear friends whom the Lord has blessed me with

*adventures, whether large or small

*meeting new people and making new friends

*roadtrips

*clean clothing

*a long hot shower

*being reminded that the ministry in which I have found myself is one of lives changed and blessed