Holiness

A couple weeks ago I read Isaiah 6 where it talks about Isaiah's encounter with God. It was such a holy sanctuary that the Seraphim covered their eyes and their feet and Isaiah knew automatically that he was not worthy of being in the presence of God. For God is Holiness.

How often do we forget that? I think that we often approach God as if He is just another guy. Just another friend to listen to our woes. But He's not "just" anything! He is all that is Good, True and Pure.

Are we? Not even close! In our American brand of Christianity God is just another part of our faith instead of being what our faith is built upon and dependent upon. Maybe our access to Him is too easy?

This is Life

The other night I was sitting in my chair, in my living room, looking around and was struck with the realization that this is my life. This is not what I thought 24 was going to look like, and that is ok!

When I was younger I loved to read L.M Montgomery and in her novels about Emily, her heroine wrote a letter to herself, from 12 to 24 (or some ages close to that). That made me think about what I would have written to myself, imagining myself doing.

I would have included something about the kids (obviously by 24 I would have been a mother several times over because I was destined to marry my high school sweetheart!). I am sure I also would have asked several questions about my amazing career. Lets see, when I was 12 I would have been in the 6th grade. I believe those were my Marine Biology years - I was going to spend my life devoted to Orca Whales. Besides being an amazing mother and getting all A's in college!

Instead, I am living in Ekalaka, Montana. Since I didn't even know this town existed until just over 2 years ago this wasn't my plan when I was 12. Also, I'm not quite sure where exactly my high school sweetheart went to high school, but it definitely wasn't Hillcrest! My job is not quite the same as living on an ocean, working with whales, but it is so much better. I could have spent my life working with animals that didn't know I existed, but instead, God in His Mercy, is allowing me to serve at a place where I get to have an impact on lives for eternity. What an overwhelming privilege!

So looking back, did I think about things like scrubbing down the toilet and doing never ending laundry? Did I imagine vacumming and sweeping and shoveling the sidewalk? Did I imagine having to fix the internet and pray that Satan would leave my technology alone? Did I imagine crying with people as they mourned the loss of a loved one? Did I imagine telling a mother that her daughter was not a pleasure to have in my cabin? Did I imagine crying myself to sleep some nights because of the overwhelmingness of life? Did I imagine living by myself? Well, no.

But I also didn't imagine working with AWANA and getting to know the sweetest kids in Ekalaka. I didn't imagine getting the privilege of getting to know 50 college students who came to Trail's End to serve God. I didn't imagine spending six weeks of my summer counseling girls and loving it! I didn't imagine getting the privilege of relying fully on God for my support and source of income and getting to see Him provide! I didn't imagine how He would use this time to strengthen my relationships with those that I love back home and to bring new ones in. I didn't imagine how much I have changed and been impacted by these glorious events that I could never have thought or dreamed up.

So yes, this is my life. Lucky lucky girl that I am!

Images of Life

Handsomeness
My brother and nephew came to visit me this spring and we got to go explore the Montana countryside by 4-wheeler. It was a bunch of fun!

I am very blessed by the family that God has given me and the support that they have shown me about moving to the middle of nowhere Montana. All except for my niece have been out to visit me.
(and she is 4 so I don't think she really notices)

Family Affair
This my brother Peter and I on top of an observation tower. I was able to sneak home in June for a couple of days and as a family we went to Sisseton, SD for a day.

My dear Ginny.
Definitely one of the highlights of my summer was that she was able to come out for a week of camp!

The following pictures are from a wedding of two staff members. Kevin and Jen met at camp several summers ago and were married on August 16. The wedding was really sweet (this bride glowed!) and it was a lot of fun to hang out with some great friends.

Elisha and I
Elisha is a fellow Minnesotan - he actually grew up about an hour away from Fergus and lived in Fergus for awhile. We also have some friends in common. However, we met at camp and have never actually seen each other in Minnesota :-)

James!

What happens when you leave your camera unattended

Futile Effort
I was under strict orders NOT to catch the bouquet.
However, I decided that it just didn't look right if I didn't put any effort into it so this is me trying
(while knowing that I really had no chance)
Better luck next time?

Sittin & Gazin
We finished up the fun-filled friend extravaganza with a foray into a local state park for some grilling (which was super super yummy!) and some great friend time.

Restless Heart

Tonight my heart is restless. It is a feeling that I get quite frequently, but it is more so tonight. When is it my time? When is it my time to move on? When is it my time to do something big with my life? When is it my time to have that person to love? When is it my time for the rest of everything to begin?

I always say that God is in control and is the one to tell me when to leave. And He is. Otherwise I might have gone off on a bunny trail quite awhile ago. But it doesn't always make it easy. Patience is an important life skill, but not always an easy one to develop. But such is life.

There are times in my life where I want to strive towards things. Getting a Bachelors degree, being a great friend, finding a great book, posting an interesting blog, seeking to know people and being a person of faith. And all of these things are important I believe. Because if we aren't working towards something, how are we growing?

Floating or Rapids?

Tonight at the last evening meeting of the summer (which was definitely bittersweet!), our camp director Jim spoke on apathy. He used Revelation 3:14-22 as his scripture reference, which talks about the church in Laodicia. Probably the most quoted verse from that passage is verse 16, which says "'So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth." There are so many Christians today who have simply gotten their fire insurance and stayed there. They are not willing to engage and God is so disgusted with their behavior that He wants to puke. I don't know about you, but I do NOT want God to puke at the thought of my behavior. I would much rather make Him proud and have Him greet me with "well done good and faithful servant."

However, the pull of the world is strong. The world seems to be so important. It is the here and now. We can feel it, touch it, smell it, taste it and hear it. But what is the world? What is our life here on earth? It is a blink of an eye. It is the merest of a second. But what is eternity? Eternity is forever. Eternity is where we spend our time. However, no matter how brief our time here on earth is, it is what determines how the rest of time is spent.

In one of His parables, Jesus talks about the master who gives his servants talents, and then goes away. When He comes back, He asks for an accounting. With those who risked much and gained much He trusted with more. With the servant who buried it and gave no return, nothing was trusted. God has given all us something. He has given us all Spiritual gifts and we are to use them. We are not to bury them.

In his sermon tonight, Jim gave an illustration of a football game. In the stand are 10,000 people who need exercise and 22 people who need a rest. In the game of Christianity are those Saints who are pushing. Those who are going full bore for the sake of the Lord. In the stands are those who are cheering them on, but who are not willing to get up and help. These are the ones who tend to "talk the talk" but not to walk the walk. They may talk about being a Christian and say how they depend upon God for their everything, but in all reality do not.

After the sermon was over and the call had been made and the people came forward I visualized life as a two rivers, side by side. One side was nice, calm and peaceful. The people getting into this river got on their tube and just soaked in the life. They spent their time chatting and floating. By the end of ride they are relaxed and leisurely get off the river. They enjoyed it, but nothing in their life changed. The other river was not so nice. This one was bumpy, full of rapids and dangerous. The people strapped themselves in to save their life. They fought their way, wave by wave. They worked together and came out on the end full of life. They knew what they had done to get where they were going and they were fulfilled. They knew that their journey was one worth going on.

I want to live the adventerous life. I want to live a life that is worth fighting for. I want to live a life that brings me out on the end bruised, battered and rejoicing in every moment.

You Give And Take Away

What does God take away from us?

God can take our hopes, our dreams, and our expectations. He can take away our material things. He can take away friendships and relationships. He can take our very lives.

But what can God give us?

God does not take away these things and leave us empty. Instead He gives us replacements we never could have come up with on our own. He fills our hearts and minds with new dreams that we cold never have imagined before. He blesses us in ways that we never saw coming.
As a missionary I see this on a regular basis. God blesses me on a monetary basis quite regularly. From month to month I never know where my money is coming from. But it is through that I have learned trust, as I never come up short. I have what I need, when I need it. How can I argue with that?
God does not just bless me monetarily. When I need encouragement there is a card or a phone call or an email or a Facebook post that comes at the right time. When I think of something that might be nice to have (something as trivial as Ziploc bags), God will often times put it on peoples hearts to supply. I don't tell anyone a thing but it still shows up. How can I say that is coincidence? When God cares enough to supply me with the small things how can I doubt that He will give me the big things??

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!!

Out of Control

Certain days I am bombarded with questions. Unfortunately, they are not friendly questions. They are more the type that just bring me down more than lift me up. However, today I really felt the need to express them and I figured that if nothing else, my blog needs to be honest. Don't get me wrong - it's great being a Montana Missionary, but overall I am still human. So, here are some of my questions.

Why??? Why do I feel so out of control some times? Why do I not say what I think? Why do I take things personally? Why do things not work out the way I had planned them to? Why don't scenarios play out the way I imagine? Why do things come out of my mouth way harsher than they sounded in my mind? Why can't people always understand what the other person means? Why can't I be all things for all people????